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steph628 
2:25pm, October 1, 2009
Well he finally picked up our daughter early per her request. He has been off work due to surgeries Sence 6/1/09 and this is the first time he picked her up early. At least he asked if I minded.
So my daughter spent the afternoon with him at his girlfriends house where he is now living. She told me again that she does not like it when daddy kisses her in front of him. She also told me they all went to look at a house together. She even said daddy is sleeping with her now. I already new this. When I ask my daughter if she has told daddy how any of this makes her feels she says no because she doesn't want him to be mad at her or yell at her. I know she is hurting. She is trying to make the best of all this. He dropped her off 15 minutes late but was at least cordial towards me this time.
Well when it came time to put my daughter to bed her father didn't call. This is starting to happen more and more. But he didn't have a problem calling me at 10:30 on both my cell and house phone to inquire why I want his medical records for court. I was sleeping and didn't hear the phone at first. I told him I wasn't discussing it and goodnight.
Then once again he didn't call her this morning to say good morning to her. I guess this is my fault too. But he is doing this more and more now too. I guess now that he is living with Chrissy he can't call her as much. Oh I forgot he told me that his actions don't affect our daughter.
And he wonders why I'm getting as much information and records etc as I can for court. I need to protect our daughter as best I can now that I'm not with her everyday now. And I'm terrified what will happen when she finally stays overnight with him/them. Can even think about it because it makes my stomach flip around in knots.
Comments
Steph, honey, again I'm going to tell you: keep contact with your stbx to an absolute MINIMUM and only discuss issues that concern visitation with your daughter. If he asks you questions about anything he is being required to produce for Discovery, all you have to say is "I cannot discuss that with you. Please address all questions of that nature with your attorney."
As to his living arrangements, I wouldn't ask my daughter anything about it. If she opens the conversation, keep your answers as simple as her age will allow her to understand. You don't want to influence her in any way.
This minimum contact and minimal "engagement" will keep the crazy-making thoughts from coming up in your mind which will save your stomach.
I'm here if you need me.
CowgirlKathi
Does the state of Maryland make both parties in a divorce go to parenting class? I know they do in New Jersey, where I live, precisely for the reasons that you have written about (RE: the divorce DOES impact children....duh!). Your STBX sounds like he sorely needs to find a clue.
DAB70
It's so frustrating. As a parent, it should be part of our nature to help our children through this kind of situation. How can you though, when the other party is someone that 'just doesn't get it'?!
gocolts
Steph,
Your husband should start reading up / talking to people who have gone through divorce. Children are very fragile when this horror is going on, and must be protected as much as possible by both parents. I agree with DAB- I also live in NJ and parenting class is required. They talk about this issue at length there, and even not for the class - it should be natural to think how this will impact the kids. My stbx should be added to the list of parents who just don't give a damn.
Orient1
Read????? MY stbx ha that's funny. He doesn't read anything thicker than an article out of a magazine and that's pushing it. I've suggested counseling and he won't reply to the message or consider it. So the judge will set him straight. i am looking into counseling again for my daughter anyway. One day she'll see him for the loser he is.
steph628