Michelle5's Journal

Well, I talked with my Dr and he thought it best for me 2 take sometime off work and wanted to put me on some medication while I was off.  So I followed his orders and was more of a mess then I was when I started, so for 3 weeks my family and friends walked on egg shells as they said around me because of my moods.  Once I went back 2 see him he took me off of the medication that he felt was causing this and put me on welltruin and topimax seeing how I was on these before.  He also would not let me back 2 work for 3 more weeks so I am happy 2 say that the medication is helping as much as medication can, it is also making me loss weight, I have lost 16 pounds since Oct 1st.  I am back 2 work and missing my little one like crazy. 

I still have my bad momments but George is with me in his little ways.  as he was the other night for me and Aubrey.  I would like to share my storie and for those who may not believe in this sorta of stuff do not read any further.       Since his passing I have been using his baby blanket for Aubrey at night to cover up with, well now she request it by saying Da da's cover up.  This has been going on the whole time that was up until a month ago when I lost it some how.  You see the funny thing was she did not ask for it the whole time I could not find it, I looked for it the whole month a little each day and then one day just took everything apart including the bed, sheets and everything.  The bed was up in the air and everything, but still nothing.  Well that night we go to bed and all the sudden she ask for the blanket almost crying.  So I tried 2 give her another 1 of his blankets but it did not work, so I got up talking 2 her the whole time about how I would look one more time, as soon as I turned on the light and went 2 the bottom of the bed she stopped her crying.  I started looking through some bags that I had packed thinking just maby it would be in there but no go.  So as I turned to tell her I was sorry and that I would look again tomorrow right on our bed which is a queen size, in between where we lay there it was,  It was not folded but it was rounded and and fluffed up a liitle.  I tell you this because where this was at was right where I was laying and I would have been laying right on it,  there is know way it would have been there in the first place because the bed was torn apart just hours before that and then 2 see it fluffed up where I would have been laying on it.  Aubrey was laying right beside it with her hand on a little part of it eye almost closed.  I could not help but 2 cry, but was able to thank my wonderful husband for taking care of his little girl and me 2.  It took me 2 days to be able to tell this story to my mom because of the effect it had on me.  I know he is with me at times, but more with Aubrey which comforts me.