Michelle5's Journal

Well it has been sometime since I hast wrote.  Things are moving very slow for me and the dealing with my DH's passing.  I find myself more and more reminding myself that he is in fact gone and will not be back.  Aubrey is my heart and soul and she keeps us all going.  She looks more and more like her daddy everyday.  I will put updated pics on here soon.  I feel George's presents around me at times when I really need it.  I know that Aubrey is seeing her daddy at times as she will laugh, smile, and wave as she says Hi daddy.  I will be starting a memoery book for Aubrey of her dad, I want to write down all thing silly things that he used 2 do and all the loving moments in our lives together.  I will even be having his friends write letters to her about things that they did with him or just what they thought of him.  I know this is going to be hard at first but in the end I will feel better.

As for my greiving process it is still very slow, as the UMPC hospital has made several mistakes on his autopsy twice.  I have to call them almost everyday to ask them where they are with it and all the time I have to go over what mistakes they made makes me relive that night and morning when he passed away.  It would not be so bad if they where not so cold about things as they just could care less. I have been back to work for almost a month and it is hard becuase my DH worked here also and was loved by so many, this is also where we met and fell in love.  I think back to that time and the tears start to come, I have no controll and it is worest becouse I am at work when this happens.  They say time will lesson the pain, but I just can not see how.  He was a GREAT father, husband and friend.  There will never be anyone like him.  I love him so much are time was to short, he was so happy 2 watch Aubrey grow up and could not wait to teach her bad things, as he used to joke about this all the time.  I know he will always be with us, but it is not the same.  I thank all of you for the kind words and prayers, keep them coming.