Journal

This past weekend my family and I where at a hotel and my sister, daughter and I where in the room alone talking about Aubrey and another little boy at a restruant.  I was telling my sister that the 2 of them saw eachother and the whole time they  where making faces at one and other and waving 2 eachother.  At that time my sister asked Aubrey " do you have a boyfriend" and Aubrey said yes.  All the sudden the TV in the room turned off by itself.  My sister and I looked around to make sure there was no one else in the room and also to make sure she did not hit the romote.  The romote was on the other end of the bed and we still where the only ones in the room.  We both looked at eachother and then looked up in the air.  I said to George " I know babe she is not allowed to date until she is 50" as we both laughed.  My sister was almost in tears as she had never seen anything like this. I myself knew it was daddy putting his 2 cents in.

Well living back at home feels so weird at times, I think to myself when will Aubrey and I be ready to move out on our own and right now with the way money is we can not.  It is so hard to be back with my parents as not only they are there but my sister and her 16yr old son had to move back when her hudband to be passed away just a couple of months before George did.  So there is a FULL HOUSE:(  Aubrey has a playroom which has all her toys in it and we share a bedroom, I am so afraid to let her have her own room yet, as I still have server panic attacks at night which stem from DH's death but I have to check her to make sure she is breathing.....All of my housing things are packed away in storage such as pic and nick nacks I do have some special things in the room but it is small and can not have a lot in there.  I just miss having the small things around me like my own decorations for the seasons, knowing that DH and I picked those out each year or at least enjoied them together.  In the 6months that I have been with my parents I have only spent about 1 hr by myself with No one else in the house and probably 3hrs with just me and Aubrey together by our selves.  There is always someone there.  At times it is nice like at night but other times you just need that time to yourself or just that time with you and your daughter.  I feel like someone put me in a snow glob and shock it up and the snow has nt settled yet.  Do not get me wrong I LOVE my family and I would have not known what 2 have done without them, but I just miss my little family that I had.  I took it for granted and I am so sorry for that I had a great husband that would have given me the world and in the end  he did Her name is Aubrey LeeAnn Brookes:)