skyifly's Journal

Well been trying to build my life back for the last few years since my divore ..got a home got out of debt. Have had my fair share of ups and downs dating but have not given up trying. I am 41 no kids and alone..Just got news that I am going to have to have a radical abdomanal hystorectomy..I have a tumor that is 15 centemeters in my uterous another the size of an egg and a 6 centimeter one on my ovary..Dr is gutting me on December 7th..I will never have a family of my own..The man I have been seeing for some time has teenage daughters that want nothing to do with me..I am the first woman he has dated since his divorce so in there eye I am the other woman..Not my fault that they got divorced but still not to them they are kids..I met him a year after he got divorced .  I should have waited another year to meet him it would have been easier..Anyway long story short I am dealing with the fact i will never have kids and t he kids in my life dont want anything to do with me..:Its a very hard pill to swallow..not to mention the fact that after the surgery i will have to be on hormone treatmentthe rest of my life..but at the moment the tumor is so big i look 4 months pregnant..i feel so unattractive and unloved..I hope my attitude gets better soon..I will be off work for 2 months and i have to pay taxes hope i can make ends due for a while..