Join Now
Viv1978 
9:29pm, August 26, 2009
So many people ask me what did I see in my boyfriend. Some days I wonder myself. But he is so kind and loving. But he can be so inconsiderate and uncommuicative at times. He makes me laugh and he can make me cry. He yse to be the thing that made me wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night. Now he is what keeps me up at night and make me want to hide my head all day. I don't understand how you can love someone for so long and then just not talk to them. He doesn't even try anymore. The last time we talked he said he did not want to see other people. But he doesn't seem to want to see me either.
His sister is graduating with a Master degree and I have been invited. I asked him if it would bother him if I attended and his only response was that he wasn't going. How do you not go and support your sister for such an accomplishment. But then again he did not come to my graduation, my sister wedding or basically any event with me. So why should I think things were going to change now. He doesn't even want to be with me when I am going through such a hard time with cancer. So I guess the question really is what do I see in him. Why is it that I am so dependant on being with him that I have overlooked all the things that bother me the most.
How can a grown man be so disconnected from everything and everyone. How can you not care that the person that you have spent the last 11 years with is undergoing cancer treatment. How can you not call to see how they are doing. How can you not care when they go to the ER for an reaction. How can you not care when they can barely pull themselves out of bed to go to the bathroom. How do you say you love someone and want to spend you life with them to not caring at all. I don't understand. I don't know if I ever will. But I guess the real question is can I over look all this if he said Vivian I want you back. I don't know. My heart says yes but my head say you are a fool if you consider taking him back.
Heart and head need to come together and get on the same page.
UPDATED GOALS
Learn to love myself
Progress 30%
Encouragements: 0
Add your support
Comments
I am sorry to hear that you are having so much stress. It is not easy to go through cancer and then not having the one person who you love not being there with you. When did he withdrawel?
It sounds to me that he is very depressed, because most poeple who love others will be there with them in the good times and bad.
I have been married for 17 years and the most important part of a marriage is communication. Try talking to him. Have him tell you what is going on. Do not interupt just let him talk. Then asker his questions, but do not us his name, just how you feel about it. If you make him feel worse them he may never communiate with you again.
I wish you the best. If you still cannot get him to open up, then he will have to leave until he can figure out how he can be a part of your life during the good times and bad. It is not going to be easy to do that, but you need to take care of yourself right know. You cannot be stressed, you much get past this bump in the road.
cassiec
I agree about the heart and head issue.. it is a major challenge for all of us at some time in our life but well worth striving for. I don't know that you will ever get the answers to his behaviour.. though it sounds clear that he is very depressed. Be strong and take the greatest care of yourself.. this is what is best for everyone that cares for you and will help to show others the way to dealing with thier problems.. You are a very strong, perceptive and clever woman, so that I know you will sort this out for your self.. just a shame we can't sort it out for others as well.. Love and hgus to you.. xxx
Halli