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I wrote this 5/3/00
Through the entanglement
Of a confused madness.
A caotic mess of uncomfortable anxiety
Sweeps across my skin, like goosebumps.
Sending shivers up my spine
And through my mind.
Making me wonder
Why it is that I strive.
To be, or to do
To achieve, or to soothe.
Soothe that very thing inside.
That has tried, and tried
For so many nights has cried.
And now wants just to die.
What is it I can do?
To finally put an end to,
These repititious episodes.
The waves of worthlessness.
That infect me like a virus, yet
Like a disease continue to plague me.
Never to be cured, I'll always host
This parasite which feeds of me.
Off everything my heart and soul could need.
But taken consideration, and careful measures
Plenty of water and some sunlight;
I have to find a way to fool
Myself that I, can be like you.
