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mimiig 
So I used to do this every morning almost 13 years ago before my son was born. Every day the first thing when I woke up I was supposed to write at least two pages in my journal to gather thoughts or just release, what ever came to mind. They were called the "artists" pages and I still have the journal somewhere and occasionally read through it. I need to start doing this again. I have so many areas that I want to improve or just figure out more. First on my list is the anger and I have to improve my relationship with my son. I love him to death and I want him to do really well, and sometimes I am hard on him and other times I am really easy on him. I think I am not being consistant and there is the problem with our fighting. I need to be only on way with him, set the expectations and reward only when deserved not just because he wants it or I need to show that I love him... I want to be more pleasant at work, but I truely feel it is impossible, I am the woman in a mans job and the white girl for all these puerto ricans. They hate me and a lot ot the times I don't like them (or at least the work they do) I don't really know them on a personal level. I don't hardly have any friends on a personal level. I have Chrisitne and Natalie that are both almost always needy and I have friends of my son mom but she is busy being mom and married. I dropped the excersise class but I am studying which I am doing but not getting alot out of because of the language barrier and that is it.... so basically all areas of my life are problem areas and I have no joy from anything and then I wonder why I am feeling depressed and angry all the time. It is almost funny except that it is beginning to effect my only good thing in my life which is my son, and now I need to start making some changes. So I am here trying to find answers, insperation and just a safe place to vent all these feelings that I am carrying around. One day at a time, I will get up today and accomplish something that I wanted to do, to make myself feel proud, I will be productive and go out and have a positive attitude and I will do my best to see the beauty and focus on that. I will do this today and make it until tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day.
