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Alvi 
7:39pm, June 28, 2009
Today is September 13,2009. Three weeks ago I would have thought that this would be just another day. Well it isn't. Today is the day my insurance (medicaid) is denied. I got the letter on Saturday and have been trying to deal with it and process it ever since. I seemed some better yesterday but fell apart most of the nite. The not knowing which way to turn is the absolute hardest part.
Here I set with oxygen 24/7, spare tanks, nebulizer,bi-pap and hospital bed and none of that equipment belongs to me not any of it. I don't know what will happen with it. The company that works with me on it knows that I cannot breathe without it and picking it up would surely mean certain death for me which is a horrible relization. I don't think he will come and get the concentrator at least. Of course that doesn't include him servicing it once a month and bringing spare tanks so I have them to go to the doctor or bringing air hoses. THis I dunno what will happen with it. Also I have an air mattress because I get decubitis ulcers easy and of course now they would turn into MRSA and sleeping on it helps me to prevent this. But yet I know he will have to take it since he will not be getting paid. Its going to be so hard I have a terrible time getting off and on a regular bed and trying to prop myself up so I can breathe. This is all greatly concerned to me.
I am so far down in the dumps right now. I know God is in control and has all the answers that I cannot seem to find. It is just being able to survive until the answers does come. Somehow I will have to manage with no help. I am sure that my aide and stuff will stop today. Life is so hard right now and overwhelming. Two weeks ago I thought I would be staying home until I died from all my medical issues and I was fine with that. Now I don't have a clue as to what is going to take place with me...I am so overwhelmed and depressed.
Lord please I know that your in control. Make away for me to come through this. Lord I am so afraid and yet I know I have to trust in you. Lord thank you for putting so many people in my life who loves and cares about me. Without them Lord I don't know if I would be here this morning or not. Thank you Lord for all that you continue to do...Take away this fear of the unknown give me peace..I ask this in Jesus most precious name..AMEN!
Comments
I am so sad for you. Why is this happening? Is this because you wouldn't go into a care home? I think the American health care system just SUCKS! People don't understand what it is like to have chronic health care problems. I have been fighting Americans for a year since Obama got elected, because they don't think they should have to pay for your health issues. Christians, too. Just selfishness, and one day they WILL find out. I wish you could move to Canada - you would be totally covered for everything. Here in Alberta, after my surgery I got everything loaned to me, no questions asked about income, or hubby's income, either. The system has been so good to me, paying all my meds and physical needs.
I am doing better ins some ways. My liver is better after changing to a different med for RA, as well as asthma. Now I found out the hoarseness in my voice may be caused by pre-cancerous cells on my vocal folds, so I may have to have a biopsy, and it will wreck my singing voice. I hope that doesn't sound petty to you, but I want to praise the Lord, and be a bold witness, and I don't have the strength to do anything now.
I will keep you lifted up before the throne of God in prayer. Blessings upon you, and hopefully you can work out this terrible medical situation.
Angela53510
I'm Hurting so bad for You I just want to Cry I don't understand why this is happening. Know You are Loved I'm so sorry.
Dan
cando2
My dear friend my heart goes out to you... Tears are running down my face..... I pray day & night for you that the 'Almighty God" will supply your needs and give you peace. Father Jesus ,you said in your word , that you would supply our needs ...We come boldly to the throne, and ask you to bless my friend, supply her needs and send her peace. Lord you are faithful ! I ask in the holy name of Jesus,amen !
Jobperson
The Lord will give strength unto his people: the LORD will bless His people with "PEACE" Psalm 29: 11
Jobperson
Thank you all so much..I need all the prayers I can get right now. I Love all of you and pray for ya'll daily. Angela that's not petty at all know that I am praying that your voice will remain fine. Dan I still pray for a full recovery for you. Jobbie you and your daughter are in my prayers. I am blessed with ya'lls friendship.
Alvi