Alvi's Journal

Today I am sitting here at the computer as usual..After all this is what I bascially do in life.. I feel very lost, confused and somewhat hopeless.. What a terrible feeling.. Of course I have been praying and seeking and that will not stop. I still have Faith but hope seems glim at the moment.

Seems like everytime I keep getting knocked down when I think someone can help me. Got a call from that State Represenatives office and was told by their secertary that she didn't know of much that could be done because so many are being cut off of medicaid in TN due to the new law called Daniels Law.. How upsetting this is to me. I asked her if my only solution was going to be a nursing home?? Her answer was as bad as I hate to say it that might be the solution in the case...Heart breaking and spirit crushing words to hear....

Then the patient advocacy people called me to see if they could help advocate for me..He took all of my information from me. Then he said I really don't see anything we can do you don't fit into any of the catergories...You don't seem to qualify unless your in a nursing facility..

Twice in one day is about to much to hear this. Of course the tears have flowed all day long. I have cried and cried. Then my aide shows up here and tells me that I will no longer have any care after the 13th she is being taken out of the home..I thought they were suppose to stay here until I saw if I had an appeal hearing..Now she said she is out.    I can't do this anymore.. I really can't.. I do not want to go to a nursing home. This is going to be forced on me one way or three. Lord I don't know which way to turn. I feel there is no light at the end of the tunnel. All hope is gone.. Lord Please take me home I can't function like this at all..I just don't see any purpose to me being here..Everyday so much heartache Lord for what..I cannot find no reason for this...I ask your help Lord In Jesus most blessed name..AMEN!