mianutzy's Journal

Went to the fair, and the folks I was with kept me tied down watching them  so they wouldn't wander off and get lost. Literally. I felt I was working at my old job as a MHC for a mental health treatment center.

After the fair they dropped us off at the center and  I drove home but got stuck in traffic because of a bad car accident with no air conditioner and it was pretty hot and miserable. Pais was up because I did too much at the fair and also the heat.

OK so I get home and try to relax. But my father with early alzheimers is acting odd and grunting and ocding. I ask did you drink any beer while you went golfing with the dudes today? He says no. But keeps walking around making no sense and acting anxiously. So I try to tell him about the bad car accident and the glass all over the road....

 Next thing he says "Come here, I have to show you something". He leads me out to the SUV in the yard. The back window was knocked out of it completely and shattered glass is inside the cargo area. He fumbles his words and eventually gives me a story that on the way home from the golf course he wonders if he forgot to put his golf clubs in the back. So according to the confused story, he stepped out of the car to check to see if the clubs were there with the engine running and cell phone on dash and locked the door. In the middle of nowhere, he decided to break what is probably the most expensive window to break to get into the car and stop the engine.  He says he couldn't call AAA for a tow or other assistance, no phone nearby.

Or 911.

Well (in my Dana Carvey church lady voice) he was drinking and that is why he didn't want 911 called imo.

I went to his cart, after he kept denying he was drinking and as I was going to the cart I said "I better not find any alcohol in your cart" ..... of course I found about half a case of beer in his cart. Surprise, surprise.... not! I took out all the beer and started dumping them in the sink and funny thig is, he joined in and helped me dump the last two cans. I told him as I dumped the beer that he didn't need the beer, because you promised not to drink anymore after the cop brought you home last time  (wrote about that night in  my journal also).

I plan to let his neurologist know he is still having problems with booze. My father is on medication for his alzheimers that doesn't mix with booze. So the dr needs to know what is going on. 

Damn, if my dad would leave the booze alone he is pretty much his old self, but on booze he is a completely different person.  His temperment is nasty when he drinks.  And the booze is aggravtating his alzheimers. I know he has plenty of reasons to be depressed, and I wish he would get counseling. But after what happened with my mother over dosing and decades of non help from psychiatry during her illness, he isn't interested in such help. *At one point, he made a statement that worried me, said maybe I should just have done  something else... and I wondered if he was suggesting suicide.

My sister is sick of it as she is living here also after her divorce from an alcoholic. So she is being put through hell again. Myself, I have plenty of issues and my own disorders to deal with. We don't need this kind of needless drama being stirred up by my dads drinking.

I did tell my father if I catch him drinking and driving I will be calling 911. I also suggested that maybe no more long golf trips, I could dirve him if I had to, but hope it doesn't come to that as I have therapy sessions and groups I have to attend to help myself.

Today I need to get away from the house. But my sister and I are both afraid to leave him alone too long.

PS after the whole beer scene... I went out and backed the car up so that my father could vaccum it out. I took his keys btw, said he wasn't going to be driving anywhere tonight. And I ended up stung by a yellow jacket on my hand. Go figure.