learningtolove17's Journal

I've just been fustrated today.

Kellie finally called. I understand she's been busy and all, but she couldn't find ONE second to send a text to let me know she was alright? I mean the last I had heard was she was being kicked out. I've been worrying for 2 days and staying up till 3 or 4 waiting to hear from her, and all for nothing. I just wish she could have found one second... or maybe at least thought about it.

She sounded angry when we hung up. She didn't say I love you either... which isnt a big deal, but worries me. I wasn't talking much, so I'm guessing thats why. She said I sounded mad or upset. To be honest, I was tired. I had just woken up from falling asleep at my desk and was about to crawl into bed.  So I wasn't exactly awake haha. Not fully.

Idk, I hope she calls tonight. 

I'm not sure what to do about Boyd. Oh, I haven't mentioned the whole story, have I? He's given me 6 different itineraries [sp?] for the trip to MO. 6. And he's "bought" the tickets 3 times time. Well on the last set, he spelled my name wrong. And I mean butchered it. Now he "rebought" them but I havent gotten the conformation email yet.

 I want to believe him, that he actually wants to be in my life... and I feel so bad doubting him if he really is trying. But I feel like hes not... 

Idk. It just really hurts. This man is my father, yet I barely know him. Everything hes said to me has been a lie.  Everything. And he keeps lying... I cant tell if he really wants me or not. 

And my mom has been such a b*&%$ lately. She's just been on this rampage....

I dunno...  And I feel alone. I feel meaningless. I feel.... empty.  I feel like my heart is tired.

Idk... just one of those days I guess.