les4love's Journal

I have spent the past few days reflecting on what my purpose in this world could possibly be shaping into...I have come to a few vital conclusions.

Whatever purpose I have in this life, the Gods placed me here to fulfill it, and they would never give me a purpose that I was not able to accomplish. I may be inadequate in many ways but the Gods have given me everything that I need to accomplish what I need to do, and I am plenty strong enough to complete my task.

After this thought crossed my mind I began reflecting on what about me I find inaqequate...That is when a very uplifting thought drifted into my mind...

I seem to be the only one who seems to see me as inadequate in any way. It is always a harsher judgement when it concerns yourself and your own character. So many people that I know, even those that I hardly know except that theyre my mom's work friends have commented on the "white light" that shines within me, I hear comments and ideas about me all the time. I'm a healer without meaning to me, I'm here to help people, I'm going to change many lives. All good thoughts and opinions, so why do I feel the need to brush them off as meaningless praise? No praise is meaningless, it all comes from the hearts of people who know and love me, and even more uplifting, people who merely see me for who I am upon first sight.

All my life I have had one constant, set goal; I want to leave an imprint of myself upon thousands of hearts. But, perhaps simply out of human nature, I tear myself down at each corner. When someone compliments me on my clothes I say "thanks but this is such an old outfit, it doesnt even fit me right." When someone tells me that I'm a beautiful person I simply smile but in my head I'm picking through every wrong thing about myself that I can think of. When I see a woman looking at me in more than a curious manner, or even a guy, I always tell myself that she was looking elsewhere and I simply am in her way. But why do I do this?

I do it because I am afraid to get my hopes up about things that are happening in my life. But the fact is, I have alot of hope and trying to contain it only pushes me into a box I dont fit into, it confines me and it confines my happiness. And honestly, I'm not being fair to myself by bringing myself down.

I realize that the reason people trust me, people are so friendly with me, so open to me, and the reason some women are attracted to me, is because I shine. So why should I settle for glowing when I could shine bright as any star in the sky? The question merits a simple answer, I shouldnt.

The Gods gave me so much hope and so much happiness so that I could share them with the world, and I believe that is my purpose. To share myself in the most positive ways i can possibly find.

The same reason the Gods blessed me with an amazing voice; singing, music is one of the most efficient ways to lift the spirits of others (as well as my own) and share my own hope and my own happiness.

So I'm making a commitment to myself, a promise of sorts, to no longer bring myself down, to allow my spirit to run wild and free like it was meant to. I am making a promise to be me, no less, but to never limit myself when it comes to being so much more.

Destiny doesnt decide for you, it merely gives you the options, people get to choose. And I am choosing to be everything I am and everything I want. No fear of ridicule, scorn, humiliation (although you allow yourself to be humiliated by giving others power over you), no fear of hard times and defeat (which is also something you allow). I choose to be happy, hopeful, uplifting, inspired and inspiring.

"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you may as well dance." (anonymous)