Celika's Journal

here i sit in cramps from my surgery, it's hard for me to breathe bc they hurt so bad... i know i'll get thru it- but for right now it's hard for me to even do much but get up and use the restroom or walk downstairs and try to communicate with my roommate randy.. it will get better, as they tell me. but right now it's hard for me to see that future. i feel like a tightening knot in my lower left pelvic area is tightening and tightening... make it stop!!! this medicine wont help me that the doctor percribed to me!! i've tried even the eight hundred mg of motrin, and that only goes so far, for so long that it starts hurting again.. im so uncomfortable even trying to sleep. was able to feel okay for a little while last night snuggled up to her, her warmth felt good, even though it was pretty warm last night. woke up a few times today, but kept asleep most of the day. still in pain, still wanting it to be over with and move on with my day. i dont like being in pain, im hardly ever in pain- but this kind of pain i dont wish upon anyone. it's like having such bad cramps before your period. ugh, i hate it. i want to go outside and be okay, i cant lift anything, and it even hurts to bend down right now. it feels kind of strange even rolling over in bed, kind of like im stretching out my body, but not in that sense, its just how i feel. im really thirsty, but water isnt quenching my thirst.. im hungry, but not hungry for some broth. im in a rut right now, as you can tell. i want more than i already have, i want to be able to feel better than i do, i want to just be okay....