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JoshuaDylan 
4:52pm, July 6, 2009
Every morning I wake up and say,"Damn". I curse the fact that I didn't die during the night and have to face yet another day. It's the first thing I think about when I start my day. I have gotten to the point where wishing I was dead is a daily and almost constant thing on my mind. Some days are better than others, I mean some days I just wake up like that. Other days I actually fantasize about my demise. I hate living in such mental anguish everyday of my life. I mean, can I get a break? Will it just be easier on me and everyone else if I stop fighting and give into my suicidal ideations? I feel like a masocist making myself feel all this pain and sadness everyday. It takes a huge effort just to get through the day and if I finally fall to sleep, my last thought is of dying peacefully in my bed and for all of this to end.
