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  • About Me

    Image of turnermommy05

    turnermommy05

    Female, 26
    mesa, AZ, USA
    Member since March 15

    • About Me

      i am a mother of 4 . i have lost all 4 in one way or another 3 of my kids to open adoption , and the other to death at 5 months from rsv he was 5 months old and he is the reason i am here , now the pain of having your child die in your arms and to go to sleep every night and if you have not taken a pill to keep you from dreaming see that wonderful little boy die over and over again . i just want to finnaly heal and find closure on all matters

      i am a mother of 4 . i have lost all 4 in one way or another 3 of my kids to open adoption , and the other to death at 5 months from rsv he was 5 months old and he is the reason i am here , now the pain of having your child die in your arms and to go to sleep every night and if you have not taken a pill to keep you from dreaming see that wonderful little boy die over and over again . i just want to finnaly heal and find closure on all matters

  • Journal

    • I AM TRUELY FREE AT LAST !!!!!!!

      Mood September 24, 2009 7:38pm

      So I left my husband steven , we were married for 6 years , however i let him belittle me , beat me and sleep with a lot of other women my sisters …

    • 3 days ago I was Attacked .....

      Mood April 13, 2009 5:04pm

         Late at night 3 days ago I was takeing my neice home. She lives less then a block away so we walked. I was walking home alone, all i had …

    • still smoke free

      Mood March 31, 2009 5:04pm

      i am proud of myself i have been 5 days now smoke free . this is soooooooooo hard tho going cold turkey. I hate it i still want to smoke every day . …
    • still smoke free

      Mood March 31, 2009 5:04pm

      i am proud of myself i have been 5 days now smoke free . this is soooooooooo hard tho going cold turkey. I hate it i still want to smoke every day . …
    • that whole quiting thing

      Mood March 27, 2009 9:33pm

      you no this is getting more and more difficult i really want to smoke but i just can't let myself. omg do i ever want to i really hope i …

    Read Journal

  • Hugbook

    Give turnermommy05 a hug



    • Hug

      From stacydianna September 24

      Hi. Many hugs for you.

      StacyDianna

    • Thumbs Up

      From BSPUNKY September 24

      Hello :) good luck too

    • Congrats

      From daninflorida July 23

      congrats on defending yourself and not being hurt worse than you were. i'm proud of you and I don't even know you. nice tats and photo. you showed submissiveness is part of a game and you weren't playing with him.

    • Celebration

      From gramma2gavin July 4

      Happy July 4th to all my friends. {{{{{hugs}}}}} jan

    • I’m With You

      From lovewins April 22

      big hug!! hope u feel better. i am here if u need me

    Read Hugbook

  • Goals

    242 days smoke free. Last update Apr 13, 09
    smokes per day (# of)
    0
    Goal Completed on Mar 26, 09
  • Support Groups

    • Close ADHD / ADD

      i am 26 years old and have suffered from add seance the first grade . the only reason every word in this is spelled correctly is because of spell check . i hate not being able to focus with all the stuff in my head and my family just thinks i am flighty and forgetful .

      Treatments

      Research Somewhat Helpful
      i learned a lot on the net but it was all stuff i already herd and nothing new really
      Ritalin Not Working
      i was on this as a child and it did not work for me
      Strattera Too Soon to Tell
      just started and on week 2 we'll see what happens
      Wellbutrin Not Working
      i took it and my seizures started acting up .
      Writing Working / Worked
      Love Working / Worked
    • Close Bereavement
      Type: Loss of a Child

      hi i am a mother of 4 lovely children , 6 years ago when i was 19 i had a beautiful baby boy , Ohrin and he was a preemie of about 10 weeks. I loved that little boy with all of my heart let me tell you. When he was about 4 1/2 months old he caught RSV. This is what took his his tiny life from this earth. At night I still see his face as he died in my arms. They have me on meds now because I can not sleep without seeing his face. I wonder all the time what he might have been like as he grew up.

      Treatments

      Crying Working / Worked
      this is about all i seem to do these days ! god i can't say how much i miss him I am literally crying right now as i write this. i do it allot tho I does not really help but i do feel better when i am done .
      Getting Angry Somewhat Helpful
      no i just pushed people away . but i did feel better after
      Grief Counseling Too Soon to Tell
      not had it yet and have been trying to get it for 6 years and don't know where or how
      Helping Others Not Working
      this was just an avenue for others to take advantige over me .
      Keeping Busy Somewhat Helpful
      nope this just lets my mind wander right back to him
      Music Working / Worked
      i have a few that i use and listen to when i miss him most .
      Pets Working / Worked
      love my cat and petting him always helps
      Poetry Somewhat Helpful
      i wrote a few a long time ago but i haven't done any recent
      Prayer Not Working
      nope , i am Wicca and prayer never saved me or my son .
      Psychotherapy Too Soon to Tell
      still there right now I'll get back to you on that one
      Reading Somewhat Helpful
      love it but i never found anything to help with this
      Remembering Working / Worked
      always i do this everyday maybe a little too much but i just can not help but wonder
      Scrapbooking Somewhat Helpful
      love it but i just can't do that yet it is still too painful to even look at his things let alone his face in a photo because of the nightmares
      Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
      no one really knows what i am going through in my family , the have lost sister or
      Support Groups Too Soon to Tell
      i am trying that right now
      Talking Somewhat Helpful
      not really helpful no one i know has ever had this happen to them
      Time Not Working
      defiantly not making a difference it still hurts and hurts very much bad
      Writing Working / Worked
      Love Working / Worked
    • Open Healthy Relationships

      my husband and i have been married for 5 years ,together for 6 . we had 4 kids together . then it all hit the fan and the kids are gone one has passed on and we are struggling in our marriage.

      Treatments

      Couples Counseling Working / Worked
      Patience Working / Worked
      Talking Working / Worked
      Writing Working / Worked
      Love Working / Worked
    • Open Premature Birth

      All of the 5 kids that i have given birth to were premature, the oldest is 7 she was 2 weeks , next was 5 months old when he past away from RSV , then the nest is 4 she was 3 weeks , the next just turned 3 he wes almost 4 weeks , and then finally we have the chap who was 25 weeks and weighed in at a whooping 13 oz and he is now 2 and is doing exceptionally well with the exception of his G- tube

      Treatments

      Magnesium Not Working
      i had exceptionally bad experience with this and do not recommend it to anyone
      Love Working / Worked
      and always will work !!!
    • Open Parenting Teenagers (12-18)

      i have two i am one of the kids aunt and i am young myself . but i sure don't know what to do yet

      Treatments

      Patience Working / Worked
      i have little of this left that is for sure
      Love Working / Worked
      has and always will work
    • Open Bisexuality

      hi i am elaline and i am and have been bi sexual all my live i only realized it when i was 23 . I love my husband verry much but he is the only man i will ever love . i am 99.9% lesbian and my husband is the exception. we share women together and love each other unconditionally

    • Open Cervical Cancer

      i am 26 i was diagnosed in 07 when i had my son at 25 weeks they took out everything . and i am ok and they say it's gone but i know it will come back and my mom , my aunt and two of my sisters all have it and one my aunt died from it so i am scarred .

      Treatments

      Chemotherapy Working / Worked
      i was clean after they finshed all my treatments and they said it was gone .
      Colposcopy Working / Worked
      that hurt bad but it was ok
      Hysterectomy Working / Worked
      worked and told that the cancer was gone
    • Open Healthy Sex

      well i am 26 years old i am bisexual my hubby and i are swingers , i enjoy my life and my sexuality and hope you all do too

    • Open Smoking Addiction & Recovery

      Treatments

      Cold Turkey Not Working
      did not work at all
      Support Groups Too Soon to Tell
      Wellbutrin Too Soon to Tell
    • Open Depression

      i have been depressed for almost as long as i can remember . i just need a little extra help to stay the course .

      Treatments

      Meditation Working / Worked
      Paxil Not Working
      Positive Thinking Working / Worked
      Prozac Somewhat Helpful
      Psychotherapy Working / Worked
      Seroquel Working / Worked
      Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
      Trazodone Working / Worked
      Wellbutrin Not Working
      Writing Working / Worked
      Zoloft Not Working
  • Groups

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