madiseesincolor

Open Self-Injury

I've been cutting and burning myself purposefully for about five years now. I was that one random seventh grader who wore sweatshirts and jeans regardless of the weather just to hide the scars. I even hurt myself before the cutting fad in the punk-rock scene in middle school, and no matter how hard I try, even though everyone is over it, I still find my way back to the blade.

Treatments

Outpatient Treatment Program Somewhat Helpful

My outpatient program was nice. I loved the other people in it. I feel like they spent too much time trying to tell us what to do instead of being depressed, as if it was that easy, rather than getting down to the underlying issues and how to cope with them.

Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful

I wasn't really comfortable with the therapist I had, so I really couldn't bring up all these things. I quit. I love my school counselor however, even though she doesn't deal with these sorts of things. I feel that if I had a therapist that I really liked/trusted, it would help.

Rubber Bands Somewhat Helpful

The initial strike that these have is nice, and I love the welts, but somehow it's not the same as seeing blood. Somehow bleeding is more comforting. Besides, snapping the rubber bands would annoy my dad when he was yelling at me, so I don't use them anymore.

Talking Not Working

No one seems to want to hear what I have to say without telling me what I shouldn't do or should do or whatever. I just wish someone would LISTEN without having to tell me how fucked up I am. I already know.

Open Bipolar Disorder

Treatments

Geodon Working / Worked

Lamictal Working / Worked

Seroquel Working / Worked