Megan4955's Journal

I know i havent been on in awhile but school has been keeping me going 24/7. Classes start at 7:45am (means leaving the house at 6) and end at 4:00pm. After that we have sports for 2 hours so iv been getting home around 8... well busy day but so far im really loving my new school!

i hadent talked to my mom  in weeks when she finally decides to call me one night. She asked me if i wanted 2 spend the weekend with her, even though i already had plans with my friend i cancled them so i could see my mom for once. Of course the night b4 she tells me she "4got" that she had a camping trip. Well i ended up spending saturday night alone...again.

Anyway she called later that week and as always she asked me how i am hows school the usaul (while i can hear her playing solitare in the backround) and for the first time in my life i didnt say i was "fine" even though i was burning up with disapointment and hurt inside, for the first time i told her how i really was. I told her that i wasnt going to be her backup anymore that i wasnt going to be a way to pass the time untill another boyfriend comes along. I told her off for everything and when i was done i didnt wait for her to come back with her pathetic little "im sorry" phrase thats only meaning is to b a stitch for the wound that she going to slice open again any seccond, i just hung up.

Two days later she called back and she gave me the whole il try to be a better mother speech...not like i havent heard that one b4, well she sounded genuinly sorry so stupidly i gave her another chance. Well i decided to go spend sat. night at her house (we were playing soccer) anyway she said that she was gunna go out and see her boyfriends band and she finally decided to come back at 3:00am. Ya i came all the way to her house to spend the night with the telle, no i dont think so. Well thats not the best part, not only did i get to watch her put so much makeup on she could of passed for a hooker, no i also got the lovley suprise of seeing her waltz in at 3am completly drunk!

If its not my school its my mother if its not my mother...well you get the idea, it seems like iv found this amazing school that im exited to go to but my mom just has to....to ruin it. Sometime i wish i didnt have a mother and maybe then i wouldnt have to put up with so much of her crap.

I couldnt ever imagin being a mother and hearing my daughter say this about me. I hope oneday if i ever have kids i will proove to be a better mother to them than my mother ever was to me.

Thanks for listening, i really appresiate it!

Megan