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LoneWolfe 
9:46pm
There are some days that you get so frustrated, that you can't even cry. Today so far has been one of those. I've been on the phone with one thing or another since 8 a.m. on business. Called my cousin in Fl who is in hospice w/Pancreatic cancer, and I can't throw a pity party, cause he's got it way worse. In fact, I call him and we pray on matters, and it does me good to help in this little way. He was telling me that there is not ONE Bible in the entire hospice center. Well, while not everyone's a believer; it still didn't make sense to me. So, I'll tend to that mission via phone tomorrow. I've had enough of the phone for today.
I know mostly what's bothering me. My pain is lurking in my gut like a shark that is circling my organs, and nips, and then all of a sudden takes a bite out of me. Only problem with this is that this doesn't work at 3 a.m. when I'm sleeping. RCC is symptomless...if this is the hernia, I almost want to have that surgery at the same time they do the NSS.
I probably won't have my way, (fortunately), but I can see it now...the heck with all the surgical instruments, just sterilize a can opener, stick it on the side of my abdomen and let 'er rip...!!! Owwie...
yea, laughter is the best medicine, and on that note, after I have some lunch I am going to take a full measure of my pain Rx.
Ok, I've vented, I'm fine now. I do, before I go want to thank the originators of this website for a great site, with wonderful patients and people, and most of all the caregivers too, who care so much.
So, if you need cheering up, while I vent some, I am open to new friends here always,and I'm really a good listener.
Ciao for now,
Hunter (a girl)
Comments
Hi Hunter,
i hope you don't mind hearing from a few weeks older caregiver friend, i enjoy reading your journals and if you don't mind hearing from me without any venting, as i have had an exceptionally good day today.. I just wanted to share a cute story that Tim does every Monday night..Where i live there are more elderly women then there are people my age, so every Monday night they play bingo, so off goes my Tim with his little dobler to play bingo with all the gossiping bunch.. He's so cute and charming, the only younger man there and the women love it..I get a chuckle every week when i pop my head in the community room to say hello to them all and see Tim playing his 3 cards..Tim is a very quiet man, and the happiness on my face to see him enjoying himself with others when i'm not around just watching him enjoying himself with the gossiping bunch, they all enjoy his company so much..It gives me warm feelings when Tim is happy doing things on his own he gives me a little wave as he continue's concentrating on his 3 cards..Seeing the happiness on his face is the most precious gift God could given me, just a little thing like that which to Tim is a very big thing to be trusted to enjoy himself doing something by himself..All Tim's past relationships were with very jealous women, so anything like this would be unheard of which to me are insane reason why anyone would not want to see him happy and indepentantly doing something on his own.. I adore him especially seeing happiness on his face to me seeing the child like side of Tim is what a relationship is all about, just being himself..It such a cute scenerio and whatever makes him happy makes me happy and it works both ways with us, it's just special things like this that gives me so much graditude and makes me so proud to have been so lucky to been able to have met such a wonderful generous man..These are the reasons i trully beleive God chose me to be the one to take care of Tim when he gets sick..I feel i am a very lucky women to have met Tim we share a special bond and even tho, he was stricken with this beast of a disease it has brought us so much closer in the past 3 months.. We share a deep love but we also share a special friendship and we watch each others backs on a daily basis..Hunter i am not a religous person as i know you are is this how God works ?? I feel that God the way i beleive brings certain people togeather for reasons to learn from others the way that life should be.. All i know is i am a very happy women tonight and i feel God has opened my eyes to reach out to others so i can share things like this with you and others my experiences, strength and hope and others like you and others can share the same with me..Maybe i'm askings for your opinion about how God works in your veiws in God ways ?? Well i felt that i just wanted to share this with you for reasons i am not sure of, Hunter thanks for listening, this was something i felt very important to share with you, well anyway, i hope i didn't bother you, have a good night... Thanks for being a friend and letting me read your journals, i do get something out of what you are always writing...
Good night,
Becca
Beccaanne
I'm journaling on CaringBridge too, so I'm going to save my 'talks' with folks for on this wonderful site. I'll email folks here my Rx or hospital updates. My XRays are clean, so far, but that was expected in a way. My tumor is small, but I'm not exhaling yet.
I am thrilled though...my hernia is giving me a fit, but I'm ok with that as my test are holding up positively!
Gotta go, I'll be back Monday nite.
Ciao! Blessings to all.
LoneWolfe