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SpringChikn 
8:40pm, September 23, 2009
SMS43 was right, of course. I wrote to my mother, who's hard of hearing which makes phone conversations very difficult and prone to misunderstanding. She now knows the state of my health and was quite relieved to hear the facts firsthand.
I found the following, author unknown, during a chemo last spring:
Cancer is so limited. It cannot cripple love. It cannot shatter hope. It cannot corrode faith. It cannot destroy peace. It cannot kill friendship. It cannot surpress memories. It cannot silence courage. It cannot invade the soul. It cannot steal eternal life. It cannot conquer the spirit.
Cheers to all my friends.
UPDATED GOALS
Stay healthy as I feel
Progress 50%
Encouragements: 0
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Got a letter from my 91-year-old mother today. She still lives alone,, some distance away. I had asked family members who live near her not to tell Mom I had lung cancer. My older sister died less than a year after her diagnosis, but by the time she'd received an accurate dx, i.e., that it wasn't sciatica, or migraines, her cancer had metastacised to her bone and brain.
Well, you've probably guessed the rest. It just never works to lie to your mother, even by omission, does it? She knows, and now I'm wondering how much she knows and how much I'm going to have to tell her.
One more thing to figure out.
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Got the results of my CT a couple weeks ago and it showed no recurrence. I'm now on the every-three-month routine, so the next one is in December. The oncologist mentioned that maybe they'd mis-staged my cancer, but I doubt it.
Someone here wrote that the fight is relentless, and I'm sure she's right. My problem is complacency. I feel pretty good, better than before the surgery and certainly before the chemo, which was difficult but less so than I'd expected. So I've reverted to my old ways: not eating very well, not exercising, and so forth. What's happened to my determination?
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Glad to hear there is no recurrence.
I am also not as worried as I think I should be about the cancer that was in my body. Yeah, I figure the doctors did a good job and got it all out, and as soon as the radiation is complete, life will be back to normal. Other people talk about being so upset by the big "C" word. I had an initial emotional reaction when I first found out, but then it was all about dealing with the decision the doctors were making about the best form of treatment. My efforts went toward dealing with the daily pain or discomfort. I wonder if I am still in some sort of denial about the fact that I had cancer. My lack of worry about the cancer coming back and making my life worse, worries me. Does this make any sense?
Again glad for the good results of the CT.
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Goal Updated
My mother died last year at age 92. I used to worry about her knowing things that would upset her, but finally realized that in her 92 years she had seen it all and dealt with it! Most of her friends were gone, she was the only remaining child of 8, her husband had died 25 years before, and she had developed strengths that I can only hope I have when I need them. She was able to handle and deal with anything! I suspect your mom is similar.
sms43