burs4ever's Journal

Today I felt a certain sense of freedom.  Like it was okay to leave the house. It is a personality thing, I know.  I am needy.  A lady posts here and talks about people like me.  How her husband is such a kind hearted fellow that when he come across a woman with low self esteem, one that feels she can do no better than someone else’s left overs, he just sort of feels sorry for them or something so it’s ok that he gets involved with them because they are the ones that are the losers not him.  I never really understood that logic and being that naive doesn’t suit her. 

So many things contribute to how I feel today.  I think the rule is to not change too many things at the same time. I didn’t change anything lately but all the things in the wind seem to be merging.

I started going to church.  Oh yeah, I did switch jobs.  My daughter is leaving for CT tomorrow.  I think my meds are finally kicking in.  Yeah, lots of things going on.  I think the biggest one, though, really, is that I don’t think of Rob the way I used to.  It really did obsess me for a lot of years.  People talk about being obsessed like it is a choice.  Right now …….. I see that word as some tricked up letters for possessed.

You have to get rid of the demons.  All of them, no matter how far back you have to go.