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DadWithHope 
28 minutes ago
I wasted the last fifteen years, nine months of my life, plain and simple.
I am a single, soon-to-be divorced man with a part-time job that idiots and ex-cons can do, and not a lot of prospects for other employment.
I have no wife, four daughters who are upset, distraught and needing guidance. They have a mother who claims to love and miss them, yet she doesn't call them. They have a father who constantly cries and gives in to poor decisions and anger. They have grandparents who love them but try too hard sometimes to parent them when they shouldn't.
None of this is their fault...they deserve better.
I don't know where to turn next. Counseling isn't helping me. No one cares, no one wants to hear that I can't let go. She doesn't care and never did. She's already moved on to a new man, new family and could care less whether I ever talk to her again or not. Sixteen years of me loving her mean nothing compared to the words of a liar who tries to woo women off sex web sites then tells her about marriage and forever.
Lies and adultery are what matter in the modern world. Love, respect and honesty don't mean God Damn thing.
Fuck it all. I am done.
Comments
DWH, I'm thinking of flying out to Kansas to drink this out with you.
We've had big chunks of our lives that we devoted to some woman. It didn't work out for either of us. We both got beautiful kids out of our marriages (have you SEEN how beautiful my son is???). Why care about what she's up to? You can't control it and it doesn't matter.
I think the life you are eventually going to have is going to be awesome. Take care, bro....
DAB70
Correction...I wasted sixteen years of my life on someone who never had any intention of remaining faithful, nor has the intelligence to think beyond lust.
Our daughters are the only benefit of sixteen years of lies and betrayal. IF not for them, I might as well have joined the peace corps or a monestary.
DadWithHope
Dad, I want my STBX to die in a fire, but I wouldn't change anything.
I learned and I moved on. Your STBX ain't worth your energy. Believe it.
DAB70
I understand but honestly, if Dr. Sam Beckett showed up at my door with his Quantum Leap Accelerator right now, I'd fucking jump in and go for a run the day I met her and not go anywhere near my fraternity house. Then I'd of spent every day after avoiding her slut ass. I'm that serious, the bitch was a waste of time except for producing good offspring.
DadWithHope
I don't look at it that way. I don't wish I never met her. I know it was good with her at one time. And now she is dead in that way. I just let her go, because I can't stand to hear about her bullshit status....
DAB70
I wish I'd never met mine. She was a lying whore from day one. Kids would look different I guess but I probably would have had kids with someone else.
DadWithHope
But now you are free. I really feel for you and the kids, but you will get through this. none of you deserve this. if you want to piss her off, live the best life you can.
BetrayedAngel
DWH. You are going through a terrible thing right now. Be strong for your kids. Eventually you will move on and be happy again. I am betting that she will never be happy again.
Mike1436
Don't say you're done! You cancall me anytime. Don't say that though.
SoakedInTears
Yoe are not done, you are just getting to the pissed off state, and that is what is going to help you let go. Its ok to be mad and its ok to hate her, do it. You did not waste those years, its all part of the plan in your life, there are four beautiful girls who are the proof that it was where you should have been. The girls are upset, but they will adjust and so will you, you need to be the leader and the positive point in their lives, show them how to be strong and they will respect you for a lifetime. Hang in there and I wll be thinking of you often.
thompsol80726
I really don't know what to say, except I can tell you're really hurting. It is good to get angry, real angry too, because that's one of the fricken steps of grieving. I wish I could do more for you, really I do! Big healing hugs & prayers!!
blondegal55
I am sorry you are still having such a bad time. I feel the same way, the last 15 years of my life have been a joke.
Bratty1
The thing is, she just doesn't even see how this affects the kids. They are all hurting from this, especially our oldest. I wanted to get her just a few more fireworks, but I couldn't because I am on an extremely tight budget and have some bills coming up. It has taken a toll on us emotionally, financially, and in so many other ways I just can't start to describe it. And her reaction? "I know." No, you don't know. You sit up there in your apartment banging your fat idiot boyfriend and still letting life happen to you and we have to deal with the fallout of your carelessness.
Ugh, I need to just get off my ass, get a better job (which I'm trying to do) and just not worry about her affect on us anymore. My girls will get past it through some tears and tough times because they are fighters and so will I.
Bratty - sorry you feel that way, but you did get your children out of the deal and they definitely are NOT a joke.
DadWithHope
I agree the kids are truly affected and they just dont, or rather chose not to see.. Regardless of age, if older, adults.. it forces them to reinvent the happy childhood they once had.. the knowing they always had a place to go if it came down to it.. Could always go home, a safe loving place... for younger, they fear the loss of the parent they have, after all, one left, the seeds of hurt and fear of abandonment are planted.. Its left for the parent they are with to enforce love and assurance.. not an easy task when we are broken and hurting so.. Most posts like this are from woman.. I am glad you posted this for all of us.. men and woman.. the task is equally daunting. Hang in there.. be the best parent you can be at any given time . Hugs to you and the girls
tryn2bhappy
You don't even have to work on being the better person; you already there. Pat yourself on the back- you HAVE made some serious strides already!
Someone once said this to me.. it might help you.
"You were born breathing without (her). Finish the job".
Hope that helps.
BetrayedAngel