XiXi's Journal

I feel like I'm having some kind of falling apart at the seams midlife crisis thing.

Questioning so much about myself and my life.  My orientation my marriage.  

I'm trying to cling to some of the good health habits I've been putting in place at least and stll make measureable progress in some area.

It's hard I just feel awash, lost at sea.

I need to work on my therapy homework at least.  Yesterday was the first in months I didn't even track what I ate.  But I'm back tryng to to track today and I know even yesterday I didn't do as badly as I might have done in the past.

I need to work on figuring out my life goals.

I like my therapist for talking about anxiety and things but I'm terrified to try and bring up sex and orientation with her.  I don't know if I need to find and switch to a super liberal therapist.  Lol I'm picturing myself sent to gay reeducation Jesus camp.   Yeah I don't know where I fit in or what to do, and there's so much more than just one big issue plaguing me. 

I work on one and barely get done celebrating and these other spots spring out linking.