Kimiowa1977's Journal

So a friend put it this way, the first trimester feels like pregnancy  limbo.  You're not showing, the baby isn't moving and if you don't have morning sickness like me, you don't even feel pregnant.  I started to worry more this week and wondering if the baby is really in there.  Other than feeling tired and my breasts starting to get bigger, I have no symptoms of being pregnant.  And more often this week I have been having the pain in my stomach on the sides where my ovaries are that feels like when I used to have cysts.  It only lasts a few seconds though. I guess I could have lingering cysts from the IVF injections, but it just scares me.  My OB nurse on Monday actually told me that it could be that I still have cysts and they will check for that at my next U/S.  I should feel better that it isn't cramping and followed by blood, but it still scares me.  It doesn't help that I type clinic notes for an OB/GYN clinic and know what can go wrong in a pregnancy, especially when I type the high risk OB notes.  I actually looked up the symptoms of a missed abortion on the internet last night.  For those who don't know, a missed abortion is like a miscarriage but differs in that it is not passed completely and they have to do a procedure to clean out the uterus.  At least that is the way I understand it.  I don't think you have cramping or bleeding with that, maybe a little bit of bleeding.  Does anyone know?  I felt silly after reading about it on one website so I didn't search any further.  It did say something about the baby just not growing anymore anywhere from 6-20 weeks.  They saw the heartbeat on the 6 week U/S but I'm still worried that it's for some reason not in there anymore. 

I guess it just seems so unreal to be actually pregnant after trying for so long and it's hard to accept it is actually happening.  So I just can't wait until the 23rd when I have my U/S for the prenatal screening.  I should be able to hear and see the heartbeat then.  I wish I would have asked my OB to try anyway to hear the heartbeat at my appointment on Monday.  He said at 9 weeks it is way too early, although they do get lucky sometimes.  But then I read on here about people a couple days ahead of me that have already heard the heartbeat.  And I also type clinic notes where my residents dictate the heart tones are this or that.  Maybe I should ask one of my residents if they could try to hear the heart tones with Doppler.  My DH said I should go in and tell them my concerns, but I just feel so silly worrying that something is wrong.  If I see one of my resident doctors today I might talk to them about my concerns and see what they say.  Dang, I'm getting all teary-eyed so maybe if I talk with them I wouldn't be able to hold it in LOL  Well until I find out if they could try I will just have to count the days until the 23rd. 

Hope you all are having healthy pregnancies so far and baby dust to all still on the journey to your miracles!