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• 

  Ray of Sunshine

  From VikiS July 19

  Lin,
  Thank you for the prayers and support. Every little bit helps. Brian sends out a lot of resumes, but no calls or interviews. I think the market he's in is just saturated right now with all of the big businesses around here laying people off. It's so sad to see the auctions on houses, etc. Thankfully he gets unemployment and I get disability. I don't know what we'd do otherwise.
  
  How are you feeling these days? Are your meds straightened out yet? I'm seeing my psychiatrist Mon to see if she can get anything off of my list. Medicare kicks in on 9/1 and won't cover many of my meds. Not sure what to do there.
  
  I'm sure by now your daughter is a nurse. Did she find a job? Congrats!
  
  Well, I have to go. I'm so exhausted today and my bad leg is just aching. I need a nap I think. Take care and write when you can.
  
  Hugs,
  Viki

• 

  Get Well Soon!

  From CathieM June 12

  Hi Lin...I am having an okay day today. Believe it or not. I actually can use my fingers to type. No horrible pain yet. ....Yet!
  I did try to go without my aircast today...ouch! My foot was so swollen and the skin so stretched from the swelling...that it looked like I had an elephant's skin transplanted on top of my foot. It was discolored too. Sort of dark brown...like a lot of blood was just below the skin. Can't go aircastless yet.
  I have spurs on the sides of my toes, sides of my feet and both heels. They are really sore. I think I did tear a tendon or ligament...something like that. Doc did give me a diagnosis of some partial tear. But I have not had an MRI done yet for more accurate diagnosing.
  My daughter still has not had one interview after earning her Masters in Social Work. I keep telling her to be patient, hang in there, and keep the faith. Whatever is meant to be will be. Also...my Podiatrist did more xrays and was able to see yet another two old stress fractures on top of my foot. The meds do cause these weakening bones.
  I have been miserable every single day prior to today. I sometimes feel that if this is how life will be for me...and worsening as time goes on...I really do not want to live to a ripe old age. Not like this! I do want to be around for my daughters. My 12 year old still needs me for endless reasons...and my 23 year old and I are sooo close. She and I can talk into the wee hours of morning once we get started. But...what use would I be if I am in bed everyday. About school being out for the summer... My youngest daughter actually sleeps in...until around 7 to the earliest...sometimes as late as 9. I love the peace and quiet. The ability to just take a deep breathe and enjoy my morning.
  I am so sorry that you are feeling so down. This disease...and all that goes with it...almost invites depression. Sad to put it like that...but it is so frustrating. It is hard for people to truly understand. And about those commercials...ha! I also have comments made to me about them. "Hey...why don't you try that medicine?" ...uh...how much more medicine do I need to put into my body? Or..."look...you can take that pill or injection...and ride a bike?!...wow" Yeah..sure! Not in this lifetime. I am on more meds than I already want to be..and cannot live without a single one of them!
  I have a very dear, close friend who has been a friend of mine for years. We know just about everything about each other. Both good and not so good. Part of what has made us so close. But...I can't count the number of times I am told how someone else that she knows who has RA is doing so much better because of this med she is on...or how she is able to work full time...or how she does so much even with the RA. I almost get sad inside because I just can't explain it anymore...every single person, every single bout, every single level of any disease...varies from one person to the next. Please stop comparing! Especially if the comparison is going to make me feel like she thinks I am "faking it", "exaggerating", or just "given up". I am a fighter! Always have been and always will be! But...little comments like that only push me away from that person. Makes me not want to talk about anything deeper than the weather. It sounds like you know exactly what I mean. Here is a perfect example...my neighbor's little dog ran to my yard yesterday...to meet my dog...well...that did not turn out well. Little dogs have the biggest attitudes! anyway...I walked the neighbors dog back to her home...in my aircast. Limping all the way. I got there just as she was coming out having realized that her dog was gone. Anyway...she asked me what happened. I told her...a very short version...meds for RA weakening my bones...several stress fractures on top of my foot...some healed...some not...and her comment was "It sucks getting older huh!?...Join the crowd!!" What?...ummm...okay! Frustrating.
  Well...I have to make the dreaded run to the grocers. Almost out of dog food.
  Also...thank you so much for all your kind words of support and understanding. They mean more than you could ever imagine. I also send prayers for you.
  A couple more things...I did go out and buy some medical rx crocs. Supposed to help feet that are in pain due to one thing or another. All medical reasons of course. I will let you know what I think of them once I am in them. Also...congrats a million times over to your daughter and her nursing education almost being complete. Good luck to her. Also...My father passed away 5 years ago on June 7th. Very hard week for me. My girlfriend's father just passed away this past Saturday. On the 6th of June. Very hard for me to go to his Wake. I did...but it was difficult. I am so much like my father. I could relate to him so easily. We talked for hours on the phone for the last 5 years of his life on this Earth...and I miss my Dad every single day! I know how you feel.
  Blessings and Prayers to you and yours!
  cathie

• 

  Flower

  From CathieM June 2

  Hi Lin...Oh my gosh! It has been nearly a full month since I have posted anything on here. Apologies. I hope you are doing okay. I know you were in a lot of pain the last time we touched base. I have been going through a bit of a tough time too. I had so much trouble with my left foot that I could not stand to be on my feet for more than 5 minutes. I would instantly feel a lot of pain the minute I stood up. Miserable. Well..I finally went to see a Podiatrist...after two different appointments with my Rheumy, xrays ordered by him, and some labs. The radiologist then did not find any abnormalities. My podiatrist (who had done an ankle surgery on me back in Jan of 2001) re-took the xrays even though I had the originals. He did not like them. Said they were not very definitve. Anyway...so far, he has found 4 stress fractures on the top of my foot. 3 have healed on their own and this last one is the one causing me so much pain. Also found a small tear in something...I have the technical diagnosis...just can't remember right now. And...he also said I have bone spurs on my heel...which I was aware of, and bone spurs on the outside of my foot right below my little toe. Those...I feel all the time. Quite painful! Also, I have broken two toes in the past. He says that the fractures seem to be related to my meds. They weaken the bones. I do not recall having any injury or hurting myself. Did not drop anything on my foot. Do not play tackle football or go snow skiing. Am not a soccer fan. (even though my husband trains, coaches, plays and refs it) I do not do any heavy lifting per se. So...I have to lean towards the meds being responsible. I have had an aircast on for the past four weeks. Therapy since then too. I am healing and the pain has subsided a lot. For now. I am a little concerned about after the therapy stops and the aircast comes off. I am addicted to that aircast. Anyway...still having terrible flares. I have been up since a little after 1 a.m. this morning. So much pain in my hips and legs. I could not lay in my bed. I had to get up and move around. Yep..I moved alright...right to the pc and have been on it since! EEK!!!
  My 12 year old will be getting up soon. Last day of school is friday. Then no more schedules! I am sooooo looking forward to not having to get up to get her around, make her breakfast, hear her chitter chatter in the early hours of morning, and driving her to school. I will be clicking my heels...(in my imagination)...as soon as Friday gets here!
  Hope you are doing okay. Please write when you have the time.
  Take care and have a pain free day...if possible.
  Cathie

• 

  Little Love

  From VikiS May 13

  Lin, Thanks for your message of support. We're going into month 2 without a job. I don't really feel my husband is doing his best at looking. Honestly, I feel like he's kind of lazy about it. He knows he'll be getting money through Aug., so I think he thinks he has time. I'd feel better if he had one already. As far as our dog goes, yes, it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Our cat (we lost our other one Jan 08), Alex, is 12, but he still loves to get rubbed and purrs all of the time. He lives a pretty low-stress life of sleeping on our bed, jumping down for water, getting his food served near where he sleeps, and only going down to the basement to use the litter boxes. Our other cat used to pick on him and that stressed him out, but now he's an only cat child again and he likes it. Our other dog, Jade, still struggles without Payton. She's more clingy to us, but she's getting braver. Sorry to hear you're in a lot of pain. This weather doesn't help either. My mom and I have really been hurting a lot too. Misery loves company, huh? :) Take care and keep in touch!

• 

  Flower

  From CathieM May 13

  Hi Lin..Sorry I have not been on here. I am having quite the spring. My 12 yr. old daughter was diagnosed with a "probable" case of swine flu a few weeks ago...she was the first one in her school. The school did close for 3 days due to her "probable" case...then a few other cases did come up. She was very sick for an entire week. She has been back at school for a full week plus a few days now...and she is still recovering. She is sooo tired. She goes to bed around 6:30 or 7:00 p.m. and sleeps until 5:30 or 6:00 a.m. That is around 11 hours of sleep a night. Sound sleep. She does not get up for anything. I am keeping an eye on things for now...if it seems to become more of an issue...I am taking her back in for more tests. Time will tell. The doc did say that her recovery could take up to two weeks..we are close to that point now. On top of that...I have a stress fracture in my foot. I have been in terrible pain for a few months with the bottom of my foot. I have done some research and the only thing I can find that my bottom of my foot's pain and swelling symptoms fall under is a neurological issue. I am going to print it up and take it to the podiatrist next week. Anyway...the top of my foot has been swelling up to the point that I can't get my loose fitted house slippers on over it. The pain has been unbearable. I am taking tramadol with all my other meds...and it still is an intense pain. Brings me to tears sometimes. Forget about getting a good night's sleep. Anyway...I saw my Rheumy about two weeks ago..he ordered more xrays and I got the call that the xrays were normal. B freakin' S!!! So...I decided to make an appointment with my Podiatrist who did an ankle surgery on me Jan '01. Anyway..right away...he saw bone spurs in the xrays that I had gotten copies of from my Rheumy's Radiology dept. And he saw a stress fracture that looked fairly recent and had healed, but not quite right. Bones sort of fused together slightly offset. He took more xrays himself..he does all his own xrays there in his office. He found another stress fracture that has not healed on the top of the same foot that has all these other issues. I am a little frustrated with my Rheumy because he sort of shrugged it off since it didn't appear to be RA related. But I think he should've advised me to see a Podiatrist. Oh well. Anyway...for now...I am doing physical therapy (electrodes attached, waves sent through foot, ultrasound type treatment added). With the electrodes...they told me to tell them when to stop turning the electric currents up...just to the point of tolerable. They took it as high as they could..24...and I felt nothing. Zero! This has them concerned too. I have my foot wrapped in a ace bandage...very tight...and then a therapy shoe over that..also tight. Doc wants to see if we can heal the damaged bone that way without being too invasive. If that doesn't seem to be working...at my appointment with him on Monday...he said he may need to order a MRI and/or may end up doing surgery. I know that I can feel a lot of pain in so many different locations on my foot. I am miserable. My tramadol (codeine and tylenol) are not helping at all. I have called today and asked the podiatrist to call him something stronger. He did not want to order anymore meds...he said that I am on a lot of medication as it is...but I need it! Also..he said that the stress fracture most likely happened due to the meds I am on for the Fibro and RA...they eventually make the bones weaker and brittle. Especially these smaller bones like the ones on top of the foot. Life goes on. Egads! I am sorry...I have said waaaay too much! Going on and on! I am sorry that you have so many joints affected. But I am glad that now you know. I hope you stay clear of the viruses going around out there. Nice to have someone in the medical field there at home. blessings to you Angel hugs! Cathie

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