Journal Entry for November 21, 2009
November 21, 2009 12:36am
downloading About a Son. as sad as it is, it's become one of my comfort movies.
strange. i wasn't a huge Nirvana fan when …
BarbaraBean
-
About Me
BarbaraBean
-
Recent Activity
Recently:
-
2 hugs received, 1 journal post
Saturday
-
BarbaraBean wrote a journal entry: Journal Entry for November 21, 2009 12:36am
downloading About a Son. as sad as it is, it's become one of my comfort movies. strange. i wasn't…
November 17
-
BarbaraBean posted a new photo 9:54am
-
BarbaraBean posted a new photo 9:54am
-
BarbaraBean posted a new photo 9:54am
-
BarbaraBean posted a new photo 9:49am
-
-
Journal
-
-
(odd) observations
November 17, 2009 8:52am
1) despite my odd collection of woes, i'm just generally happy to be on the planet.
2) despite the fact that interacting with …
-
Journal Entry for November 16, 2009
November 16, 2009 3:50pm
i do love outrageous humor. that is: i always think when someone says something outrageous that they're joking. sometimes they're …
-
Journal Entry for November 13, 2009
November 13, 2009 12:11am
sometimes fighting for yourself can just mean... standing back up. :)
hope hope hope hope hope hope hope. :) :) :) :) :)
-
Journal Entry for November 12, 2009
November 12, 2009 2:20pm
some things more on the NLD side (ex--though am extremely hyperfocused/obsessive about something that capture my interest, my interests are fairly …
-
-
Hugbook
Prayer
I am praying for you blessings of peace in your mind and soul. May your mind be quieted and may all those little demons that ride on your shoulder and in your ear be crushed to never return. I pray for you to have strength at your weakest times. I pray that your heart feels lighter. I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving.
Hug
It is from Radio Head.. :) Thom Yorke is awesome! :) how have you been?
Superhero Status
I have so been meaning to write you back. Thanks for the hugs! We're busy and excited!
-
Hug
You know me well, I LOVED history government and public speaking! I don't think I need to take any more. :-( Well, unless I change my major...
Flower
(((HUGS)))
-
Photos
-
Advertisement -
Support Groups
Close Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
I'm a survivor of both long-term and multiple traumas. (Incest: the gift that keeps on giving. I seem to find replicas of both my father and his enablers time and time again. Molestation, rape, having been stalked/peeping tommed: all by people I've known.) I'm in acute symptoms currently: night terrors, extreme fight-or-flight. I'm exhausted. Even when the symptoms aren't so acute, I can't think of a single aspect of my life that hasn't been touched by them.
Treatments
- Art Working / Worked
- I write. I sometimes feel it's a form of revenge. The more I've been silenced, the greater my urge to write: In some senses, then, the more I've been silenced, the more I find my voice.
- EMDR Working / Worked
- Worked fairly well in the short-term, but again: I was at the rape crisis center on an emergency basis, and my trauma was long-term and repeated. There wasn't time to deal with it all.
- Emotions Anonymous (EA) Working / Worked
- I just joined an online group after many years of absence from EA. I find the steps extremely helpful. As with all groups, however, it can be difficult to navigate personal issues. The in-person group I attended had definite issues with sexual harassment (in once case, very severe) and with an oddly rigid hierarchy: not supposed to exist in 12-step groups.
- Music Working / Worked
- Oh, I just want to marry Steve Earle and all other courageous story-tellers.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- See rape counseling and EMDR
- Rape Counseling Working / Worked
- Results have been mixed. The last therapist was fairly good, but only worked short-term: the crisis phase. I've had multiple traumas from multiple sources.
- Reading Working / Worked
- Yes, and all kinds: fiction as well. A sensitive writer can really give voice to things that may have otherwise been silenced, forgotten.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Mmm. Yes, I think it's better than not talking about it.
- Prozac Working / Worked
- Ive found it effective for managing the worst of my depression the despair etc.and for taking some of the edge from anxiety. I dont experience side effects though I understand some do.
Close Sexual Abuse
Oh, help. 500 or less. Well, I grew up in a sexually abusive home, was molested as a teenager, raped as an adult (by someone I knew), and recently am focusing on healing from a sexually exploitative abuse of power by a so-called spiritual figure. Have recently left an abusive community.
Treatments
- Art Working / Worked
- I love it. Can't say it's solved everything, but it helps.
- Emotions Anonymous (EA) Working / Worked
- First group I attended (face to face) was pretty abusive, so it's hard to gauge EA effectiveness overall by that experience. Now on online group. Occasionally forget to put principles above personalities, but overall it's good.
- Leave Working / Worked
- Just left an abusive community
- Talking Working / Worked
- Helps me to put things in perspective, especially in the current grieving process.
- \"The Courage To Heal\" Working / Worked
- Love that book.
Open Anger Management
i'm barbarabean, and i'm pretty much always angry. i have a lot of passive-aggressive traits: silent treatment, etc. i basically growl or scowl at anyone who tries to make eye contact with me. i have ongoing post-traumatic stress; have survived much violence.
Open Codependency
i'm a mess.
Treatments
- CoDA Working / Worked
- used it in the past.
- Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Working / Worked
- used short term in a rape crisis center. but i'm a mess.
- Emotions Anonymous (EA) Working / Worked
- i'm a mess
- Music Working / Worked
- music is one of the things that keeps from completely ending up in a back ward. but i'm a mess.
- Pets Working / Worked
- i love my dog. but i'm a mess.
- Reading Working / Worked
- i like it. but i'm a mess.
- Talking Working / Worked
- fine, fine. but i'm a mess.
- \"Codependent No More\" Working / Worked
- i loved that book. but i'm a mess.
