Journal

Well,  Since no one is online, thought I would update my journal real quick and let everyone know I am still alive!

We completed the mediation with the insurance company, things didn't go great with them but the Judge made sure to let me know that in Oregon the laws are written by the insurance companies, for the insurance companies so it's probably the best I would get under the worker's compensation system. Considering that I could have been off work, on my own time and gotten hurt like this just the same, I am just grateful we got enough to pay off most of the bills and allow me to stay home, and my husband's check will be enough for us to get by on. Now I get to go through this all again with social security.

The attorney says it's a whole lot easier in the Social Security Legal arena...just as long a process and a pain in the a@@ but we will not have to prove fault, just that it is present. Which he explained made his job a whole lot easier winning it.  I not so sure of that, but we will see.

Between the stress of the legal stuff, ongoing damp, rainy weather, and in a pain flair up, my pain is up in the 10+ scale and I have been having difficulties using my hands. I got a dragon speak program to try and use it instead of typing only to find out my computer can't run the program not enough juice in the processor. Oh well it was a nice try.

Everyone here is sick mostly, just my poor husband advoiding all us sickies and trying to keep away from the crap going around in the house. Took the youngest to the Doctor yesterday....the cold/flu whatever is gone but a sinus infection and brochitis remained. Older daughter has been sick for about 5 days with nose/lung congestion coughing, fever, loss of appitite, sore throat, etc...Now I'm not feeling so great on top of the normal problems...great, just great.

Hope everyone is doing better than we are!

Well, pain is going back up so much for the relief from the new meds. Nasty pain in left leg, left arm and in the temples of my head! Headaches all the time making it hard to come and talk with everyone on DS. I feel bad because I haven't been on much, and at home I've been hushing everyone and making them turn everything DOWN, because of my darn head! Plus of course I'm irritable and cranky, making everyone around me miserable too. Nah, not that bad but bad enough at times. 

The weather is extremely wet, windy and nasty matching my mood and pain levels right now!

A few days ago I snapped out my wrist, so it is bruised, swollen and hurts badly, making it impossible to get much done right now...

So in general not doing so hot, but spending lots of time in hot water trying to sooth the deep ache in my bones, and sharp nasty feelings of being cut up. However I have to balance with the times the hot water causes the burning feeling to esculate into nasty boiled limbs feelings....seems like there is a reaction for everything I try now days, but I try not to give up and just keep looking for ways to bring the pain back down that don't include break thru drugs in a bottle....I am beginning to hate taking the pain medicine, and desperately would like to find something else that would work as well or even better. I never know if I am feeling worse because of reactions to drugs or rsd or what? and that really fustrates me!

Life goes on, now a little quieter here at home. I have sucessfully quit morphine sulfate and started on oxycontin and norco to control my pain, along with lidoderm patches, tens unit, meditation, heat, etc...and the level of my pain is finally going back down. Thankfully. I have begun to drive a little, so I got my handicap parking permit, which helps cut down on the number of steps just to get where I am going. I found asking for this uncomfortable, yet made myself do it for me.

Today I managed to use the intermittant sunshine to cut my herbs and start them drying, so now there is thyme, oregano, sage, chamomile, mint and parsley neatly hung up and beginning to dry. I had begun to dispair of ever having the energy to get them processed. It made to feel good to get them going, and not waste them. However, they will not be at their best because they were cut so late in the season, but I'm okay with that.

I am so grateful to have the pain levels back down into 7's ! I find myself hesitant to do to much for fear of a flair up, but know I will have to get over that, and get more active.

My right leg got much better after stopping the medications I was allergic to, but sadly it appears RSD has settled into the left leg for good. My doctor says give it a couple of more months to heal before giving up hope, but I find I adjust better to just accept it and go on, rather than hope and be disappointed, something that has happened way too much lately.

That way I can just be pleasantly suprised if something changes! Besides the work is the same no matter what is wrong, keep using it as much as possible, and water therapy to keep being able to use the muscles correctly. Doesn't work well for me, my legs cramp and burn when I try to walk in the water, and last time I went I was humiliated that the life guards reshifted themselves to one on either side of the therapy pool while  I was in it. I kept falling alot, but that was okay, the water is soft enough to fall into and it was shallow enough to just get my footing again on the good foot and stand up. Kind of handy that.

My motto" just keep moving and go on with life" however that may be, in what ever way I can. And be grateful for the good things in my life, not bitter over the things I have no control of anyway.