guitarwes's Journal

So,

two weeks ago i moved out of my parents appartment. My ex wife lived on the 2nd floor. I couldent take living around her anymore...constant thoughts of her with other people just one floor below me...seeing her with other guys...Bleh..I had to get out.

We'll last night she messaged me asking to go hang out because she hasnt seen me in ages. I told her the reason she hasnt seen me is because i dont live there anymore. She was all confused and hurt that i moved. Apparently all my family are treating her like the plague now also.

We'll she's hurt.

And Apparently 2 weeks ago she fell off the wagon and started cutting again..not my problem anymore.

I REALLY stood my ground last night and flat out told her theres no chance of us ever working things out, she ruined that chance by seeing so many people after we split. I told her this would happen.

She said to me last night , "My life is not better without you..." and to be honest...Mine isnt either. YET!. I know better things are in store for me..BUT.

I still have this NEED to go see and help her....hold her...do all this shit that i dont want to really do. I think maybe im in that mindframe because of doing it for so many years?...I dont know but I really thought i would enjoy her realization and downfall....I really..Dont.

Im in pain today too. I hate knowing that the girl i loved is in pain. But I need to be strong, She make her bed now she must sleep in it.

*Trying to be strong.*