Rachellem's Journal

I guess bullies are not only in school. It is heartbreaking to come to this place to find that there are bullies in a place like this where we are supposed to comfort and be kind to one another. It is truly upsetting and a blow how someone can twist what I thought was a well written and thought out  post and turn it into something ugly. They picked and chose my words and turned them into something horribly negative and ugly. I feel so awful and put down right now. To be called names and put down is an awful feeling. I don't know if I can even describe how it feels especially for it to happen in a place where we are supposed to be kind to each other.

This past couple of weeks to begin with has been just awful. First I start getting horrible stabbing stomach pains and have no idea what it is. It turned out to be a bowel infection called diverticulitis. This can be a very serious condition but still they have to put you on powerful antibiotics that mess you up during and after you take them. I woke up again from a deep sleep with strong palpitations that at their peak were around 180. I have woken up with the pounding heart but never like that before. I thought for sure I was going to die in my hallway. So again I was hauled away in the ambulance and put through almost eight hours of all sorts of testing including a ct scan. I was not having a heart attack and the ct scan diagnosed me with diverticulitis. The doctor said that because of the infection it  aggravated my palpitations and made them worse then they usually are. 

I just hope that the antibiotics have worked and that my bowel infection will not come back. God I just can't go through that again. I must say on thing for the diverticulitis. It was a huge gigantic kick in the ass to do something about my eating habits. Being overweight contributes to developing diverticulits . For the past two weeks now I have been on an almost liquid diet and the past few days I have added more solids like a piece of plain toast with my soup, apple sauce, bananas and small amounts of lean meats. I have discoved something about weight loss though. Yes it's hard but it's not as hard as I thought. ALready my stomach is getting use to the small portions. So while diverticulitis is a scary and potentially serious thing, it gave me the fear and kick I needed to make a change in my health.