Journal

I contacted my ex last night, my "drug" as I now think of him. I called and left a voicemail and a text to call me back (because his "best friend" was going through a life and death situation and I was told to keep it quiet, but wanted to tell him.) He ignored me and text me back this morning that he was asleep and hopes whatever it was worked out. I said it wasn't something that would be fixed overnight and I was still waiting on word. He text back "good luck." This pissed me off because I was about to break a confidence to tell him, to let him help, because he needs to be everyone's hero and he just didn't care. We kind of argued a few more texts. He told me if things were that important the person I was calling about or his friends would call him (HAHAHAHA obviously not!!!) but I didn't tell him that. I asked if he was mad at me or just stressed. He answered "both." I finally got fed up and told him whatever I did nothing wrong. contact me when it's convenient for you, i'm not bothering you anymore. His reply...it won't be for awhile.

Sorry to rant and recount this convo...but I'm so angry that screw it. It's not worth my time. I have wanted to work and get over him and FINALLY this was the straw that broke the camel's back. I'm sick of being treated like I have nothing of value to say or my opinions don't matter. And this from a boy who just a few days ago was bugging me to "catch up and hang out." ugh! Literally I'm repulsed by him right now. I don't even want to deal with him, or these pissed off emotions. I have a friend in need right now, and obviously he won't be helping...Just wish he wasn't such a jerk! He's pushed away anyone that ever gave a sh*t about him, except me...and now I'm even turning around and walking away...you can only be pushed for so long.

Congrats jacka**! You lost the ONLY girl who cared about you as much as I did, the only one who could and would put up with you through it all, this long...congrats!

Sorry I just needed to get that out!!