Journal

i know i haven't been on here in a very long time... i kinda been busy. my leg still gives me a great deal of pain but i am getting use to it. when i first joined this group i was really lost and depressed,,, i put my photo's on here and that is how i met dexter,, he was in a bike accident and it was really wierd seeing how much our legs looked so much alike and when we would talk how much we both have been the similar things and operations. i was really thinking hard on amputation but dexter told me to hang in there and i am soo glad he did. we finally got to meet for the 1st time when he came to new york and it was only an hour and half from where i live in pa,. my husband as some may know and i have been having alot of trouble since the accident last june,, i don't know this accident took soo much from me and i really thought i was dead inside like an empty shell... well we both knew it has been over for along time and now divorced... i am doing well though we didn't have a big drag out fight it was ok.we are going to remain friends and he is going back to North Carolina to be with his family. i don't think it is fair to let him suffer because i am and he has been very patient with me but i just don't have anything left inside of me to give. i hope the best for him and that oneday he will find happiness again.

well i think i am finally coming to terms with the limited use of my leg, i don't like it but what else can i do but except it. doc says the bone is healing nicely so that is a good thing, but it doesn't help the pain i go through everyday when i try to walk, hmm i hope someday this too will get better. i can only hope. The guy that pulled out infront of us is still not paying for what he did, i have ran into twice now in the bar and his wife is now the bartendar on sun. i know he should at least be on probation and should not be drinking, this is like his 3 or 4 DUI. i have tryed to call the D.A. to find out what is taking so long, still no answer. i even went as far as calling the state trooper who filled out the report,,,,no answer... i am so frustrated because it looks like he is going to get away with another accident, his life is going on never missing a beat while i still struggle with therapy and pain and no job. hmmmm life just isn't fair sometimes.

well where to begin, yesterday was really ruff for me it was a year since the accident that kinda of changed my life for good, and it was wierd because it rained all week, and yesterday was picture perfect of that day last year, sunny not a cloud in the sky and hot. so, i called my sister up and went and spent the night with her. it kinda kept my mind of things a little. i am still trying to figure out why this still happend??? and what am i suppose to learn from this???? i just feel really lost and really alone right now. and i can't get myself out of this depression rut.