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strumphyy 
2:10pm, September 22, 2009
Today i killed a big bug unintentionally. I was rushing to the pharmacy, and squashed it with my foot. I am sorry about it.
Then I made a stupid joke with my friend on the phone over the war in Israel.
We laughed. I feel worse.
Not a big deal I know. I should have more serious things to think about. It is probably because I don't do good deeds anymore, or that I don't do anything significant lately, that I dwell on little things, on silly stuff that I do or say. Or worse, it may be that I am scared and a little coward, and i am afraid to do anything wrong cause Karma will come after me. Selfish.
Well these are my shallow thoughts. I probably shouldn't post this. I will erase it later. I do it because I am upset abt the bug. And the joke. I try not to be hypocritical. I have biiigger sins than that.
Comments
I can relate to what you are saying about feeling bad over things said or done which either you wished you hadn't done or regret later.
In an "unreal" world, we are always able to be our best self and we have no unkind or thoughtless impulses.
There are still many opportunities to be kind and make up for percieved deficiencies - It's not (always) easy to take an honest look at yourself and that is what it looks to me like you are doing. At least you care - at least you think about it.
Kindmirrow