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strumphyy 
2:10pm, September 22, 2009
This day will be different from others because I have never been more determined to say 'no more' to my mom's treating me badly.
This kind of behaviour is also motivated by the way I respond to it. I let her say what she will and get mad or talk back but never adopt the right attitude.
So,I know this is going to be hard, because it's not the way how she taught me, but I guess I'll become more independent of her and not share eveything with her.
From this day forth I will try not to let anyone treat me as they will(wheteher it's my mother, doctors, bf whatever). This should serve as a lesson.
Ufff..I hope I don't do this same mistake with others. If i stay to think about it, I was a little hysterical with my ex bf and a little stressing him. So, I can't believe I am saying this, I admire him for leaving. he shouldn't take crap from anyone, including me.
Comments
you're exactly right...but here's the difference......there is a right way of doing this, and a totally wrong way. i get the idea that you have been thinking in the wrong direction so here it goes.
when you're being mistreated or made to feel badly from abuse or whatever....you must not yell, or get irate...but tell them that i cant see you anymore if you continue to treat me with this kind of disrespect, and then you must follow up with the action if necessary. i know it's soooo hard to not simply fight back ,and yell, and it feels good to get angry for that minute perhaps, but it leads to bad relationships but more importantly bad feelings that linger on and on..
this works, i know it does, but we have to "give" something in return...we have to give them exactly what "we're" asking for, and that's respect and good treatment.. by no means does it mean we'll all agree, but we can discuss our feelings without trying to destroying the other persons self worth in the process.
to tell someone...."when you can treat me with respect, then we can talk about this or see you" is really powerful and lets the other person know.....i can only go so far ,and then i will lose contact with her, so i must be careful in how i talk, or what i do to her,...because "she" wont take it. where this doesn't work is the cases where people are so needy that they take anything from someone no matter what, and they are too afraid of loosing the other one and let them walk all over me, but really...why would you want a person that disrespects you so much?
try this, and even your mother will calm down if she knows you will not take this anymore, and she must act with kindness, or your not going deal with her. it's about pushing buttons in a person...if they know they can get to you in a bad way...then that's what they will do until "YOU" stop the cycle. this takes great strength, and not all have it but think about this....
you go to meet a movie star or the president....YOU don't say and do whatever you want to, because they wont take any kind of disrespect from you or their out of there., so you act a different way with them, because you fear they will not have anything to do with you if you don't act in a certain way. so you be that president and you be that movie star and if you get treated badly....have the courage to push that person away until they learn they cant get away with that anymore...it doesn't take long to communicate the message...but you have to treat them with love and kindness too. good luck
warmheart
By allowing unacceptable behavior to continue, we teach people how they can treat us.
It's never to late to change the way you see yourself, and then the world will follow along.
EastCoastAJ
Thats good your not putting up with bullshit anymore.
slow
So, I can't believe I am saying this, I admire him for leaving. he shouldn't take crap from anyone, including me.
It take such a strong person to say that and even recognize it. Kudos
epiphanies
I agree with epiphanies - This is why I am glad I have said goodbye to abusive relationships and I avoid relationships which don't bring out the better part in me.
Being assertive is difficult -- sometimes it is totally avoiding communication - other times it may be saying an affirmative statement without being overly hostile (difficult to do).
Kindmirrow
I had to stop going to see my mom and dad many years ago, cause they are just toxic. I read toxic parent's book and it changed the direction of my life, and yeah there is no need to put up with toxic people. There is so much negative bull coming at is on tv and everywhere else, including work situations nowaydays. so take care of yourself whatever it takes to make your life better, nobody can tell you what to do on this it is totally what you need to do for yourself. Take care.
MikeIntheDesert