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About Me
Lily61
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About Me
Married just over 20 years. The marriage has really gone downhill the last few years. My husband has always liked a lot of independence and separation. Lately, he has pulled away so much that I feel like we are emotionally divorced. We spend almost no time together. I feel hurt and then angry, which just makes it worse. I don't know how to fix our marriage, if it even can be fixed.
Married just over 20 years. The marriage has really gone downhill the last few years. My husband has always liked a lot of independence and separation. Lately, he has pulled away so much that I feel like we are emotionally divorced. We spend almost no time together. I feel hurt and then angry, which just makes it worse. I don't know how to fix our marriage, if it even can be fixed.
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Interests
movies, gardening, shopping
movies, gardening, shopping
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Recent Activity
Recently:
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3 hugs received, 3 group discussion posts, 2 journal posts, 1 hug given, 1 discussion post
Monday
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Lily61 and CowgirlKathi are now friends 7:26pm
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Sunday
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Lily61 gave LimeCoco a hug 1:21pm
I am also working on figuring out why I tend to be drawn to people who are not so nice.…
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Saturday
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Lily61 wrote a discussion post in the Breakups & Divorce support group: How to Talk to the Children? 5:03pm
When your marriage was ending, did any of you have concerns that it was negatively affecting your relationship…
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Journal
This entry is private
This entry is private
This entry is private
This entry is private
This entry is private
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Hugbook
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Hug
Hey hon-how's it going?
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Hug
I'm sorry you suffered a divorce. I'm in a similar situation. Hoping to find comfort here & give/receive support~GOD BLESS
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Hug
Thank you for your thoughts Lily. I am learning about myself more each day. And you guys here are helping me so much.
Thanks
thanks for accepting my offer of friendship. Yes, peace and quiet is great.
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Hug
Thanks, I read what you said about my farm. I love my farm and will hate to sell it. It's so peaceful and quiet. I live hearing the wind blowing through the trees and seeing the hawls, geese and even the buzzards flying over my farm. I'm at peace when I'm home on the farm. I hope you find that peaceful place for yourself.
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Photos
Lily61 hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Breakups & Divorce
I have been married over 20 years. At this point, I am considering whether it is worth staying married. I feel like we are emotionally divorced. In the past, when there were problems, I've felt like we could fix things. I don't even know what to do any more. I don't know if it can be fixed. I feel like we are staying married just for the sake of being married.
Treatments
- Couples Counseling Not Working
- We have tried counseling several times. It has never been helpful. There doesn't seem to be any plan or method to it. We go and talk, and it goes nowhere.
- Reading Somewhat Helpful
- I have been reading a Dr. Phil book on relationships, which is actually a fairly good and realistic book. I just don't know if it's enough.
- Talking Working / Worked
- I try to talk about it. My husband is not the most open and honest person. Sometimes, I'm not sure he even knows what he thinks or feels about us. Usually he is either sarcastic or angry. Sometimes, I think he decides he wants to make things work, and then he behaves in an overly complimentary fake sort of way. I think he believes that will make me feel better and everything will be okay.
Close Loneliness
I am married, but my husband does not want to do things together. We used to walk together. He walks by himself now. He told me he thinks we should take separate vacations. I don't get any companionship or emotional support from him. I am not a particularly outgoing person. Most of my friendships are limited to co-workers. My best friend recently moved out of state. My family does not live very close.
