Journal

I can't believe it's been so long since i've to DS. It has helped me in the past. i guess i felt hopeless. I started to go to counselling and i wasn't sure it was for me but it seems to be helping.  I am not holding stuff in. She is helping me to not feel guilty and to quit beating myself up.

I am so everywhich way today.  I can't hold a thought in my head.  My mind is going 2-40.  I'm not sure why.  It is taking me so long to type this cause i keep hitting wrong keys.  I miss my David soooo muuuccchhhh.!!!!!!!!! Why did he have to go?!!!  I am resenting my kids cause I want to go too.  It's not thier fault.  My plants are dying.  I can't even watch t.v.  Why? 

I feel so overwhelmed.  i really am not sure if that's what it is.  i feel so many different things.  i am mad and sad and lonely.  I wonder if i could die from a broken heart?  I don't want comfort. i want to be alone.  i want him back, i need my David back.