feeling
August 4, 2009 12:48pm
I can't believe it's been so long since i've to DS. It has helped me in the past. i guess i felt hopeless. I started to go to counselling …
bluerose
-
About Me
bluerose
-
About Me
i am a part time customer service rep, a full time mom to two daughters, a sister to 3 women and a half person. i used to love to read and write in a journal. i am now a full time t.v junkie. i am also a part time wife. i am now an obsessive daughter to my dad, since losing my mom. i am a very good pretender/faker. I have change my profile--I am not a wife any more. I feel I will always be married to him. Who am I now? I have to add widow to my profile. Widow..I am 39 yrs old. Surreal.
i am a part time customer service rep, a full time mom to two daughters, a sister to 3 women and a half person. i used to love to read and write in a journal. i am now a full time t.v junkie. i am also a part time wife. i am now an obsessive daughter to my dad, since losing my mom. i am a very good pretender/faker. I have change my profile--I am not a wife any more. I feel I will always be married to him. Who am I now? I have to add widow to my profile. Widow..I am 39 yrs old. Surreal.
-
Interests
used to be watching tv and reading. I have no desire to sit and read--I've been doing books on tape/cd.
used to be watching tv and reading. I have no desire to sit and read--I've been doing books on tape/cd.
-
-
Recent Activity
- Sorry, there is no activity in the My Activity feed.
-
Journal
-
-
Journal Entry for September 26, 2008
September 26, 2008 12:21am
I am so everywhich way today. I can't hold a thought in my head. My mind is going 2-40. I'm not sure why. It is …
-
feelings
August 26, 2008 8:20pm
I feel so overwhelmed. i really am not sure if that's what it is. i feel so many different things. i am mad and sad and …
-
Trying to heal
June 5, 2008 10:55pm
Trying to find a new normal for the girls. It's weird, almost like pretending he's not here but will walk in at anytime. I used …
-
THIS SUCKS!!!
May 20, 2008 11:23am
today just freakin sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My dad's wife called this morning and went to dial "D" for dad I hit Dave, when I heard …
-
-
Hugbook
Hug
I hope your daughter is doing okay, my 16 yr old daughter has been cutting for 4 years, I understand all the pain and fears you've been going thru my prayers are with you
-
I’m With You
Thank you. It is good to have a place to go and talk with others who understand what I am going through.
-
I’m With You
Hug
here are some hugs for you. have a good week. Cindy
-
Little Love
Happy Valentines Day. Cindy
-
Photos
bluerose hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
-
Advertisement -
Support Groups
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Parenti lost my mom 4 years ago in May. i can't move on or won't move on-not sure which. i am riddled with guilt. i am sad or mad always. no not always there are days i am numb. i think this is having an impact on my family. i can't look at pictures or talk about her. actually i refuse to talk about her. i am angry at her for leaving me. my so called friends and family think i should get over it already. how do you get over someone you didn't even know meant so much to you?
Treatments
- Prayer Too Soon to Tell
- not sure if this has worked, i am still mad. i am mad at god i think for taking her away. i hate "she's in a better place" i want her back with me.
Close Depression
i have not been medically diagnosed as depressed. i lost my mom almost 4 years ago and have lost myself--i put on the happy face and do what is expected. i take my kids to school and then come home and jump back into bed til i have to pick them up. i now have a part time job which keeps me busy--i sometime hide in the washroom and cry but am getting better. i still cry myself to sleep but still have no desire to the things i loved. i used to read now have no interest in it.
Treatments
- Prayer Working / Worked
Open Parenting Teenagers (12-18)
i am mom to two girls, 15 and 8 3/4--b-day in may. they are pretty good kids. I am a married single mom. (it's gotten alot better in the last 2-3 years.) My daughter is a freshman at a school she didn't want to attend and started to rebel. bad grades and lying. i punish and yell and nothing so i gave it up. let her dad start chiming in. God forbid she thinks "he's the bad guy". she wants to be "emo" what the heck is this crap? ok no drugs no sex i can deal...i hope so.
Treatments
- Education (School) Somewhat Helpful
- went to school counselor and freshman dean for support. the deans checks up on her ocassionally.
Open Environmental Allergies
Type of allergy: PollenI have allergies, you name it mold, grass, weeds, pollen, trees,dust...but not dogs. That's weird. I don't have a dog though. I used to take claritin-doesn't work any more. i am now on zyrtec and flonase spray. The eyes are the worse cause i'm a hard contact wearer. Some days are just unbearable. I'm screwed if i can't wear contacts. I am almost blind in one eye.
Treatments
Open Breast Cancer
I have "fibroids" in my breast. just right one. I had a tumor removed when i was 16-about 18 yrs ago. i have since developed squamous cell on it about 3 yrs ago and had a lesion? removed. Now i have another lump. I used to notice more around period so blew off as fibroids which they said will come and go. well now it's bigger. I'm worried.
Open Widows & Widowers
my world as i knew it ended on 5/7/08. i took my shower and then went to wake David up and he wouldn't wake up. i remember poking his arm and feeling something wasn't right. Something hasn't been right since. We have two daughters that i can't let down. So I gotta get up every morning. i just want to cry 24/7. i want to scream. i want him back!!!!!!!!
Treatments
- Grief Counseling Somewhat Helpful
- i talked, she listened. i cried , she listened. felt a lil better.
-
Groups
