Goal Completed on Apr 6, 09
cybill 
1:15am, September 29, 2009
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About Me
cybill
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About Me
--the one with the purple hair :) I am 26 i am pretty techy. i am a bi-polar Gemini with anxiety issues. i have no reason to be sad or stressed besides the chemicals in my brain make me that way. i am a college graduate (3rd in my class) office administration. I am a proud Canadian i speak French and English but can not write in french. I am hoping to meet people i can talk to about anxiety, bi-polar or agoraphobia and i hope that i can help people as well with my experiences.
--the one with the purple hair :) I am 26 i am pretty techy. i am a bi-polar Gemini with anxiety issues. i have no reason to be sad or stressed besides the chemicals in my brain make me that way. i am a college graduate (3rd in my class) office administration. I am a proud Canadian i speak French and English but can not write in french. I am hoping to meet people i can talk to about anxiety, bi-polar or agoraphobia and i hope that i can help people as well with my experiences.
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Interests
-video games for PC -computers (software and hardware) -technical support (i will help whenever i can) MMORPG's current -Lord of the Rings Online -Eve online -Final Fantasy Online past -WoW -EQ2 -DDO -runescape -Star wars Galaxies i'm sure i am forgeting some Star Trek Battle star Galactica Star wars Animals of all varieties but horses are my favorite. (i miss horses a lot i wasn't bi-polar or anxiety or anything when i had horses. they are very therapeutic if you can afford them) music everything really a few examples -Great big sea -Kiss -Dj Hype -Paul Oakenfold -dj Promo -slipknot -korn -the cure -the cult -classical i also play violin and knitt and listen to audio books books -the sword of shannara -lord of the rings -the vampire chronicles -john grisham -johnathan kellerman -dick francis i like to bake too sometimes i also like snow (may need to add more later ;) )
-video games for PC -computers (software and hardware) -technical support (i will help whenever i can)
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Journal
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety
I find it difficult to leave my home by myself.. it is not getting mugged or something like that i am scared of it's just... i can't explain it but i don't like leaving my home alone. once i am out i am usually OK. I have had people come over to my home just to walk me to the bus stop. so i guess it's being away from home that i am afraid of and not being outside. if that makes sense.
Close Anxiety
I have anxiety disorder. I worry about everything from "where did my shoe go?" to "world hunger, genocide in 3rd world country's to weather or not i cooked dinner right"... so on and so forth. I think this is just a built in part of me.
Treatments
- Breathing Exercises Not Working
- makes me nautious and causes panic attacks due to Emetophobia.
- Klonopin Too Soon to Tell
- i am clubsey and always dropping stuff and i stumble some for the first few hours up to 5 hours after waking up. i am not sure if this is from this or Remeron. and i seem to be really cranky and irritable too
- Meditation Somewhat Helpful
- if i can calm myself down enough to meditate it is good. if i can keep mind focused
- Remeron Too Soon to Tell
- see Klonopin for description
Open Panic Attacks
panic attacks are not fun. 7 years and counting.
Treatments
- Ativan Not Working
- this did not work. caused more panic atacks. no longer taking this
- Effexor Not Working
- this did not work. i felt i had the mantality of a 5 year old and again more panic attacks than before. no longer taking this
- Klonopin Too Soon to Tell
- i wrote a description in the anxiety section about this and the Remeron. makes me clumsy and disoriented but so far not too many panic attacks.
- Paxil Not Working
- horrible stuff no longer taking this
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- i had panic attacks non stop with this medication it also goes by the names of amfebutamone Wellbutrin Zyban. this was the worst 2 weeks of my life.DEFENTLY not taking this anymore
Open Bipolar Disorder
some say i am more manic than depressed but it all together depends on the day. Being a Gemini doesn't help either ;P
Treatments
- Ativan Working / Worked
- it worked for the panic attacks but i got moved to new stuff no longer taking
- Celexa Not Working
- this did not work no longer taking
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- worst 2 weeks of my life on this. panic attack on after another. no longer taking this
- MSIR Working / Worked
- also known as Mirtazapine. i dont know what to think except i am gaining weight like crazy eating like Im pregnant and almost looking it too. i seem irritable a lot of the time but i am finally sleeping for more than 4 hours and i am crying maybe 30 less than before. defently less manic with this combined with the Clonazepam. but we will have to wait and see the end results. i will say workingworked once the irritability goes away
Open Hyperthyroidism
just found out from some blood work that Hyperthyroid may be cause of a lot of my issues. i havn't been given any treatment yet.
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Groups
