starrbright's Journal

I don't think I can do it.  He's trying, in his fashion.  I just really don't care enough.  The love I once felt is gone. He reads sites, but argues about every little thing.  Doesn't like one site because it's too religious, doesn't like another site because it stresses childhood trauma and he insists his parents were saints.  He hasn't posted anywhere, doesn't really talk about any of it.  I do not believe he has the emotional maturity to deal with the issue.  

I told him I don't really want to be his accountability partner and he kinda freaked.  Says he doesn't have anyone else who can do it.  So I'm stuck with it.  I hate reading those reports.  I hate this whole stupid thing.  I hate him for bringing this shit to the table. 

I love not having porn in the house and it's amazing how much time he has to do stuff now...but I don't want to repair the marriage itself.  I want to keep it where it is...co-parenting and family management.  One day I'll have to tell him and that day is going to suck ass.