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  From brad74 Saturday

  I am glad you are hanging in there. All the best to you. Take care. Brad.

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  From brad74 Thursday

  Hello Kimkn. How are you? I am okay. I had a recent hospital stay for Chron's disease. I may need surgery. I have a test next month and we will see. I hope this note finds you well. Take care. Brad.

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  From afanador Wednesday

  hahahaha Kim you are funny. He would not be calling me, I mean, two hours and two calls in one day after all this no-contact nonsense has probalby shocked his system. He will not call. even knowing that I am sick he will not call. He also knows that I am supposed to be in New Orleans, the trip I canceled. Of course, if he does not want me to get excited, then the best thing for him to do is not to call me frequently, that is the honorable thing to do.
  
  I know how you feel about my situation, because I am so anxious for your husband to do the right things for you and your chidlren. That is what i am always hoping for you and Ann. I celebrate every time something positive happens between the two of you....and also seeing you get stronger and stronger.
  
  It has taken ann two years, two years for her husband to start seeing the light.. it is a long haul dear. your separation anniversary just went by, and now is when yours is but barely starting to see the light. i still have a long haul,,,,,a very long haul. ann was saying that maybe my husband realized I was not that bad after all,....hahahahahha.
  
  Also funny, I have not had sex in so long....it will be a year because it must have been in the beginning of december or so. I tthink I had sex during thanksgiving at my mom's. after that I can't remember anything because the relationship went down the drain. I hope he has not had sex since then...sometimes that drive will make you think differently LOL. He knows I know about his sexual issues. If her were not stupid he should think that it is better to address his sexuality with someone who he already knows and is willing to support him than to start with all the same issues with someone new, and risk that he be shunned and rejected because of that. He knows that I was here to stick with him, but that he also had to do something about it.
  
  I am so hoping that all his hopping around wtih his friends has gotten old. That he realize that all that hopping only ends up with you alone in a room, all alone. I hope that his friend's sickness has got him a-thinking about what is meaningful in life. I know he is probably desperate because he can be out of a job like in a minute.
  
  Anyway, I am at peace, am not upset with having spoken to him, actually I am so much more happier and at peace because now I feel like I don't have any enemies. For now that is a big step, more peace. yes
  
  keep me posted with your side of the world
  
  sil
  
  

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  From syaujye November 16

  Kim - I read your hugs to Sil this morning. You didn't mess us and keeping it light is the way to go. Just keep it light. don't try to "talk it over", don't act like it has had much impact on you. I am seeing that giving him lots of space is helping your relations. I don't know why he said what he said about trying to divorce you. It could be so many things, including that he's now opening it as a topic and doing it lightly as a step toward backing away from it. Who knows. Just keep yourself under control and upbeat. If this is what you really want, I think it's what you need to do. Sil is telling you the same thing, so we're both here for you.
  

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  From afanador November 16

  Jeez, Louise, Kim
  
  What!!!! This is hilarious!!!! I can't beleive what I am reading!!!! You and him doing the dead???? YOu have blown my mind away!!!! Okay, for the first time in my life I am without words LOL!!!!
  
  It looks like things are coming together for the both of you. But, Kim, please, please take it easy. You know how we women are...we are so romantic and these types of situations put us on a spin. If you keep your emotions under control, you may very well have the upper hand. Just, don't do it again, 'cause that is one of your cards....let's be real..it is one of your cards, because that is how it works (except for my hubbie who was not interested in sex LOL). But I also see that conversations are hapenning and the animosity has subsided, which is also good. I hope that now you are not nervous around him. Show him the new independent woman you are now. YOu are in conrol, remember that....that is your new mantra...you are in control, you are a fabulous person, he needs to show ;you that he deserves you. I think that right now you have given enough.....mac and cheese...and dessert LOL, so now it is his turn to give. IT cannot be a one way street, don't start with the old behaviors again of you giving more than what you receive.
  
  over here...well...talked to the hubbie for two hours. yes. I had emailed him about a disc I am desperately looking for and also left him a message. I went to visit our friend with cancer and when I got back I left him a message that it would be nice for us to talk about it. this morning he called!!!!!!! He was a little uptight when I first answered but then got into a very peaceful mode of talking. I was not nervous and called him honey all along. so we chat about our friend and his problems, about our conversations years ago regarding his friend dying young, then he went on to some acquaintances. he is very critical of people's behaviors because he has high moral values. all of which, as you very well know, he threw out with the garbage because of his sickness. anyway, chat about our families, and taked some more about cancer research. so, two hours worth, we laughed also.
  
  so, there you go, good move for me to put aside my ego and call him. My friend's illness has got us back talking....and that is a lot to say. I know he is up the creek with his work permit and driver's license this month. and, I know I represent stabiility, but, I need to represent more than that to him. Just the same, one phone call about a friend's illness does not mean much regarding our relationship, and it was a way of supporting each other because we are truly sad for our friend.
  
  Kim, keep me posted. Again, you had me laughing so hard.........

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