Camchibi's Journal

MY PAST ISSUES(hopefully it'll stay the past!) :

My dad is a sex offender/child predator. He used to hit and verbally abuse us and beat our mother. I got expelled freshman year for trying to commit suicide in the school bathroom. I have no friends. No support system. I want to cut myself, I started cutting myself again. I hate myself, I think I'm ugly. I think I'm fat--I'm 5' 6'' and weigh 117, I was molested by my older sister mom doesn't believe me, recently she confronted my sister and my sister denied it...my sister constantly makes fun of me and tells me I'm horrible and deserve to be punished for trying to kill myself, she constantly harrases me I tell her to leave me alone if she continues I curse at her, I get in trouble. I have Marfans Syndrome (gentic disorder that affects the connective tissue--and pretty much all of my body!). I have heart issues because of marfans...I had a spinal fusion and I can't stand or sit for long periods of time or do much physical activities...I have a hip protrusion which causes my ribs to go sideways and sometimes causes me to limp if I walk too much. My mom blames everything on me...I reach out for help and talk rationally and calmly and she gets overwhelmed and doesn't deal with it at all. I realized I can't rely on anyone not even my boyfriend. My mom tells me to go ahead and kill myself.I feel like a burden. I have a lot of emotional problems and I can't control my emotions or even handle them...