Hi today I'm trying to find some …
Hi today I'm trying to find some help to take my mind off my back pain. I currently take enough pain medication that …
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sickntiredmom 
2:45pm, September 14, 2009
ok as some of you know my gi dr has put me on remicade , well after thestart up infusions he decided he wants to try an space each tx out 12 weeks, needless to say he also stopped my immuran, and i am 6 weeks away from last tx and i have awful nasea 24/7 bad abdominal pains more toilet visits my cfs is falring with it making me soo wore out and grumpy , i am 30 i have two kids 4 n 11 i am so tired of being sick so much my gi dr knows my crohns is hard to control why would he put me on a 12 week schedule even the ladies who give were surprised he did that they didnt know it would work on a 12 week schedule, i was off my xanax, zanaflex, vicodin, phenegran, i was feeeling so happy to be somewhat normal i still had to pace myself but i was feeling as close to normal asi will get and now i am back where i started from my poor husband is worried this will cause not only the flare but the inflamation to spread and take over my bowels and try n kill me again he is so afraid he will lose me , to make things more annoying his mom n brother think i should be fine now that the surgery is over , they r get over it mode, cause i dont complain any more, now hubbies dad has small bowel crohns and he has been in the hospital for 3 weeks just cause of cramps lol thats funny to me because his wife kept telling me ihad no pain tolerance and i needed to such it up " lots of people have the problems you have and they r just fine" i dealt with vomiting and severe pain in my abdomin for 2 years before i ever went to the ER i only went when the dr or my hubby made me, but now that he has i quote again" well his is worse than hers" she is a nurse she should know better than to treat me that way but i forgive i dont forget! his brother went so far the summer before my fight for life to have me babysit last minfor him then goes on the men only boat trip and corners my man and tells him how to run his own house and that i am lazy and worthless and my kids r outa control because of me and he needs to put me staright his meal should be ready when he walks in with thehouse claen n kids queit and bathed ready for bed so he dont have to lift a finger, HA his wife isnt ill at all and when it comes to cleaning and kids i'm way ahead of her even with my illnesses so where did he get that from doeshe think we dont see the mess in his house ALL the time or his kids talkin back n arguing with her hitting her throwing tantrums, we all see it we just mind our own damn business, something him n his wife could stand to learn, my hubby was pissed but he wouldn't drop it cause he is dumb and was drunk not a good combo lol so finaly their dad stood up n told him to fuck off! next day he trys to apologize with the "i was drunki didnt mean it" line of horse shit n hubby told him its bs u dont do or say any thing drunk u werent feelin or thinkin sober drop it n stay away from me , i have to say he handled it way than i would've he believes u cant argue with stupid people cause they r too stupid to realize they r losing lmao!i am soo sorry this kindaturned intoa ramble but i guess i needed to get it all out i can talk to my hubby but i dont like to all the time cause it really stresses himout to think i could be headin right back to where i was when he came really close to losin me to my crohnsit is very fresh in his mind how i didnt complain kept goin kept doin and was dying the whole time everyday getting closer til finally i became septic it was amiracle that my fam dr happened to catch that fever that day and order the cbc cause i came home and in an hour the fever was gone he called said go to ER NOW! within three hours my b/p droppedwithin five my heartrate dropped by the time i was admitted to a room my b/p was 53/30 my heart rate 32they had meon the cardiacunit sent in cardialogist and eco machines couldnt find any reason for such a low heart rate other than i was dying and need major doses of anti biotics and steroids, so after surviving and goin thru allthat with a smile on my face, and my usual sence of humor, i dont sweat the small stuff but somtimes it just nags at me, i am not the woe is me type so i dont complain enough even to dr's which they complain about all the time lol, if i acted as bad as i feel i would always be at the ER cause my hubby would freak and i dont like it when he freaks cause it builds then he explodes with upset worried ness, ok i have went on enough, i just dont know what to do about the remicade schedule hubby says if i want he will pound gi dr till he agrres to move my tx s closer hahahaha like that would help anything beating one of the few docs who take good care of me n listen when i say somthincause he knows i wont unless it is really bad it is really hard to docs like my gi and fam docs , i am lucky to have found them! well i am sorry i dont write much any more i just dont like to dwell u know outa sight outa mind but i do read ur journal update emails so i can be in touch with it all . i am here if anyones needs me thanks for all you do for me sending hugs n messages even though i am queit you all know who you are i pray every night for each of you ,
UPDATED GOALS
never give up living
Progress 35%
Encouragements: 2
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wow i hear ya .. my hubbys fam is the same way .. there always like you should be better now .. iv gotten to the point were im a bitch and tell them to suck it .. my husband has goten so sick of it we broke them off from the family because we didnt want them putting thinks into our kids head cause they have done that beforer . my kids are olny 6 7 and 2 by telling them mommy dosent do anything cause she dosnt love you is just mean and crazy !! i hope things get better for you hun
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