Miss Elaine's Journal

I just finished watching a few different videos on my STD just trying to figure out what i can and cannot do while i have it. I am going to go back to plan B and just stay clean. I cant do this any more. I hate this. I feel so dirty and sultry. I have no clue what i am going to do next. I change my mind. This is why i did not want to get attached to any one. I just cant do it. I cant. I hate this feeling. I dont even want to talk about. Its even emmbarrasing for me to post and rant about it. There has only been two people that i have been able to open up to completely about this. Connor and Alyxe . I hate this so much. And th more i think back and back and back. I think i may have ti wrong who gave it to me to begin with. I think it may have been the first guy i slept with. But i do not know, if that is true than i gave it to 6 other people with out knowing. i do not know. ugh Christains do not get GH. It just does not happen. We are supposed to stay clean and pure. Go go about being dirty little whores. I stil hate you Courtney. I stil hate you.

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