Journal

I'm home with my 2 kids for easter vacation. I love being with them, but I can say that it will be refreshing to get out tomorrow to go to work because they fight with each other so much. It will be good to get away from them for a whole day. All they want to do is play games on the computer. If I let them, that's all they would do for an entire week. My hubby and son are in Europe for his senior class trip. I hear they are having a great time. I cancelled dtrs' lesson today b/c it's too windy here. Now we're getting ready to go for a ride. It's cold here today. Gotta cover up the tomatoe plants tonight. Hope I have a nice day at work tomorrow. Pray for me.

I really love my husband. He's incredible. I am the luckiest woman in history. Not only does he provide for all of us extremely well, we live very comfortably, he makes sure I'm well taken care of not only with a nice home, a new car, pretty much whatever I want, even 5 horses in my backyard, with all the trimmings, but he's amazing in the bedroom. He's right now in Europe with our oldest son for a week for son's senior trip. He deserves every bit of it. I hope they have a great time of bonding and sightseeing and learning. But every time my spousal unit leaves, I feel so much depression till he returns. A great sadness, tearfulness and emptiness comes over me. I shudder to think of life w/o him, such as a widow. Ouch! Perish the thought.

I freaking hate my job. I've only been there about 4 months now. It's so stressful. It's a shitty existence. Good money, but they can't pay me enough for the amount of work I do. Shitty work, too. I never want my dtr to do this shit. I don't want my son to do this shit, either. I wish he would get into something else. I feel depressed that he wants to do this. He has no idea what he's in store for. 12  hour shifts, weekends, holidays, who needs this crap? I have a life, I'll have you know. I have kids and who wants to work Christmas day when you have kids, for craps' sake? No one in their right mind. You work, you run, you sweat, you panic, you get yelled at, you get thrown all over the God forsaken building, they puppet you here, then they puppet you there for a few hours. I hate it. When do I get to quit? I've been telling myself I will only stay 1 year. Then I'll move on to the real money, the real job with real hours. None of the 12 hour shift b.s. When I work, I get home and only have 1 hour to sit and enjoy some peace and quiet, then I have to go to bed and get up so freaking early the sky is black. Then I work all day and never get to step outside except when I'm finished this b.s. and clock out, then the sky is black when I come out. I have no idea if the sun was ever up. Then they send me home early yesterday, which was a God-send. But then I get home, and there's a freaking message on my answering machine from work Mel is saying "I can't find the paper, where's the paper? I can't find the paper??????!!!!!!!" I felt like calling back and saying something really nasty, like stuff the paper up your *******!!!! Leave me alone for craps sake! I could scream at these people till the cows come home and never get anywhere. Just one year. Just hang in there for one lousy year. Then I'll quit. Hooray!