friday, 6 march mood:6 i went for …
friday, 6 march mood:6 i went for a run a few days ago and it was 9.30pm. my mum was histerical when i got …
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cheekygirl 
10:04pm, October 25, 2009
mood(out of 10)=6.5-7
it is sunday morning 1st march and it has been 18 days since my last purge. im feeling really good about it, but i am anxious because i think im going to fall back into purging again within some time.
i have started to eat breakfast every morning and starting to eat small things at school to keep my mood up-i always feel like crap at school and avoid everyone so i can be alone and pass the time. i impatiently wait for the time when i can just go home and EAT.
i went for a driving lesson yesterday with mum. we actually didn't argue! wow. we had our first real talk together on wednesday(without an argument!) and we laughed and enjoyed each other's presence. we still can't agree though when it comes to talking about me and my relationship with food. she has been makingme eat outside of my bedroom which is a really uncomfortable thing for me. she doesn't understand that it is a huge change for me and she won't negotiate the issue with me. i have been hiding food in my room so i am able to cope for the moment. if she isn't willing to sit down and ask me what i want to do, and negotiate with me, i won't bother to co-operate with her. i am already trying to change other eating habits at the moment. i think itIS a great idea(to eat out of my room) but to eliminate ALL food from my room is just an unrealistic and too sudden move to make. i have been doing this a bit though-which is good progress!
im really glad it is sunny today! i need to go out and take photos for my photography assignment-we start developing on tuesday. im going to walk to the park(and of course on the way, buy some more food) and take some cool photos there.
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I can definitely relate to you on the not eating at school issue (well, for slightly different reasons, of course). My entire time in high school I avoided eating at school. Looking back, it wasn't worth it... it did nothing but make me miserable! I remember barely anything about high school- I'm sure you can relate to that :-/. It's great that you are taking steps to have something while you're at school. It will ABSOLUTELY help your mood, energy, attention and help you to defeat your ED
LaughMeLovely
yeah, not eating at school forces you to be miserable! i am anxious because i feel like i will eat more and more and more and more when i am at school and basically lose control.
cheekygirl