ReneeDL's Journal

Friday I continued to pack and get ready me and my girls to have an extended stay at my parent's house. My husband thought I was just going for the weekend while he went upstate with some of the guys (his dad and uncles). The girls and I went swimming, then out for ice cream. It was a nice time without drinking.

Saturday - 5-year old's b-day party. Girls were tired, and seemed anxious. I told them casually that we were going to be staying at grandma and grandpa's a little longer so that "Daddy can get some things done at the house, like finish painting the basement."

They have been agitated all weekend.

Saturday night I called my husband and said "I think we're going to stay here for a while longer, until I get my shit straight". He said "ok...." and paused. I said that there are too many triggers for me at home, and I can't deal with it, such as your computer games, it just makes me so stressed out". He said "ok, we'll talk about it", and then we said goodbye.

Sunady, he didn't call all day. He was supposed to come over for dinner at 5:00. I finally called him at 4:45. He said he'd be on the way soon. He was cold and defensive all during dinner, but we didn't talk about us at all. he played with the kids a little, and then said he had to go in order to get ready for work. HAH! Probably because he was dying to get back to his online Tribal Wars game!

Anyway - last night I was sad. I really wanted to go get a drink. Thank goodness it was Sunday and everything was closed. I put the kids to bed and read from one of my new books "Don't let the Bastards Grind you Down" by Georgia W. She "told"me you either have to quit, or you're going to eventually die. I needed to hear those words. I have to quit. I have to be on my own right now. Maybe my husband will find out he wants to "live" and not "play" in another world. Maybe he won't. But for today... my program is all the matters.