ReneeDL's Journal

I'm a victim of losing a husband to an online computer game - Tribal Wars. He is going away this weekend. We have property in upstate Pennsylvania, his hunting lands, and he has to go check on the corn he planted for the deer in the fall.

I have made a decision to move out while he is away. My two girls and I will move in with my parents who live 15 minutes away. They already take care of our two daughters, aged 3 1/2 and 5, during the day.

I am currently battling with my own addiction to alcohol. I can't be in an addictive household anymore. He gets to go about his addictions. I am trying to recover. This is what I have to do, and I really want to feel good about it.

He is going to be furious. But what else can I do?!!!! I've had a handful of sober days, but am still drinking because I am angry. I get home from a meeting for my addiction and the kids are watching T.V. while he is glued to the computer. Ok, yes, he fed them. And yes, he is giving me time to get away to get help for alcoholism. But I come home to a mess, and a husband who is heavily involved in his own addiction. Between Tribal Wars and smoke breaks, he is never "around".

He doesn't see it. He sees me as the enemy. He quit for 1 day a month ago. He sulked around the house until I finally said "just go back to it". He was upset because he had "built" up such an empire, and then he lost it. What about his "empire" at home?!

His best friend and his best friend's brother are also hooked on it. So, there again, I am the bad guy for taking him away from them.

He also says that he isn't as bad as his friend, that he at least helps out a little.  Well, that "little" is getting to be much much less.

I am feeling really angry right now. I have to get back to the feeling I had earlier this morning when I definatley made the decision to follow through with moving out today.

I have to trust that I am doing the right thing.