Journal

Hey all!! Just wanted to give you an update. I am finally replacing my damaged mitral valve with a mechanical one in less than 6 weeks.  This time around I wont be so lucky because they have to open up my chest. Not to happy about that but it is what it is.

There are a lot of things to be concerned about BUT I don't want to go in this surgery worried out of mind.  As sad as I am I  am also relieved to be getting the proper medical care.

When you have a congential Heart disease everyone is scared to touch you. For the longest time I didn't understand why everyone was so worried and afraid but I have learned that it is because Doctors don't  know everything about Heart Conditions. Sure they know the basics like what may cause a stroke BUT they still don't know till this day why people are born with congenital heart defects. It may be generic but not always.  The heart is an ongoing investagation. We have come so far with technology. In the 70's my cousin died of the same condition as me and at the time they couldn't help her. It was to late!!  It sucks to know that before my 30th Birthday I will have had open heart surgery for the second time but all this is going to make me stronger. I have realized that life is too short to sit and dwell about the things you can't control.

For those friends that have been sending me kind thoughts Thank you from the bottom of my heart. For those who have scared the living shit out of me I just want you to know that negativity at a time like this is not good for my heart and mental stability. Like I said before Life is what you make of it.  If you think pain all the time you will live the rest of your life in pain.

Medication is great when needed but the best medication is Living Life to its fullest because you never know when your gift of life is going to be taken away. Excersise, eat healthy, surround yourself with supportive people,mediatate,  Laugh but most importantly LIVE!!!!!!!!! 

I use to save special items ( like clothes, dishes) for special occassions up until recently. I realized everyday is a special occassion and I have been so selfish to have taken everyday for granted. I now find myself wearing my good clothes at home even if I'm gardening. On days when I feel like crap I wear my Tiara to make me feel like a princess. I know that sounds silly but it makes me feel so good. Please do what makes you feel good not what makes others feel good.

I know that a lot of people on this site have been through a lot of hard times and my heart goes out to you all. Just remember once again Life is a gift, what you do with it is up to you!!

Hugs to you all

TJ

I don’t know where you are on your path
I have never stood in your shoes
I see not with your eyes.
I know not what your purpose is here
In this stage of your evolution
But I feel blessed to know you
As you are not in my life by chance
And you are my teacher
As I hope you learn from me
I pray I show reverence to you
I pray not to judge you
I wish to let you be
Who you are
Who you dream of being
I will just be beside you
And watch you grow
And the day will come for sure
When we will know why
Our paths crossed this way
And until then my friend
Be who you must be