LillyLaSombra's Journal

I talked to my mother and she says the thought she DID invite me to the cookout. I told her that I don't know WHO to trust or believe anymore after my grandparents called CPS and lied saying I put bruises all over my kids' bodies. She says she understands and wants to work things out. She offered to tell my grandparents they couldn't come to the cookout if I didn't want them there and I wanted to go, but I told her I was too tired because I was up all night crying. She wants to try again next weekend to visit with me and the kids and take the kids to church. She swears that she is on MY side, but understands why I am suspicious now.

Hubby was furious with her for upsetting me so badly and they had to talk it out too. I THINK they made up. He told her he doesn't like to go to family gathering himself because my youngest sister says horrible things about him, mistreats his son, and tries to get my cousins to beat him up among other things. My youngest sis is a real b*tch and is going to marry the cousin of my ex who abused me and molested my son, and takes my ex's side. She thinks he had a right to cheat on me because he told her I witheld sex for a month (not true anyway), and she refuses to believe he ever hurt me or my son. She has been helping him torment me for years now and constantly makes false accusations about me to my family... even though she never visits me or talks to me,, so how would she know anything about me anyway??? My mother just tells us to ignore her... but really, who wants to be around someone like her.. and with our children to witness... I think NOT!

I talked to my counselor/therapist at 4am on the 4th and she really helped me think about things differently instead of beating myself up over it. She even called to check up on me. My kids have been a little more loving to me today... giving me random hugs and telling me they love me. Maybe people on the outside are against me, but here in my sanctuary of my home I am loved and I feel it. I never lived in such a loving and peaceful home before. I never lived like this, not having to worry about getting beat, raped, or worse. Instead of regretting the past I am trying to appreciate what I have now.