LillyLaSombra's Journal

I actually had a pretty good weekend. Hubby didn't go on a rage spree, possibly because he did some intensive kung fu training Saturday. I guess that is the closest thing the therapy I'll ever be able to talk him in to. Then Sunday he let me have the "day off" for mother's day. He cleaned the house and did some chores like taking off the trash. I got a lot of programming done and my demo will soon be expanded to include a small cellar quest, the first dungeon.

I've been really productive despite taking trileptal again, so today I'm going to up it to twice a day. I started out just once a day to ease into it and make sure there wasn't going to be any bad reactions. Today I'll start the full regimen.

Today I am calling my son's doctor about getting him back into therapy. There has just been too many incedents where his behaviour shows him screaming for attention or help. Like yesterday, he put rocks and grass all over our vehicles, scratched them up by rubbing rocks all over them. When hubby took off in the van, rocks kept flying off the top and he said people were honking and flashing thier lights at him. My son would never admit or explain why he did this...he just said he did it a "little"...he claims a neighbor boy did most of it, but he helped. Just another example of his bad behaviour. That was a minor example too... the worst is when he is violent with his siblings. Hopefully going to therapy will help him.

I gained a little weight this weekend and started my period. Part of me wants to freak out that I gained weight... Part of me wants to stay underweight... but I know that is silly. I'm trying to hold on to healthy thoughts and keep eating well. I guess I was dehydrated because I purposely drank a lot of fluids on Wednesday in case I had a urine test, and ever since I have kept some weight on. Before that they couldn't find a vein to take blood. They had to go in through my hand. It helps to remind myself the extra weight is just me being healthy, not dehydrated still. I feel silly to be nearly 30 years old still struggling with a teenage eating disorder... I'm a grown woman now...

At least my house is clean thanks to hubby. I get a week off from doctor's visits... I just have a few phone calls to make this week, and other than that and regular hassles with the kids when they get home from school, I'm on vacation week! Soon they will be home for the summer and this alone time I get every morning will be over for another 3 months! I need to enjoy it while I can!

Alice