LillyLaSombra

Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Am am 29 year-old wife and mother of 3. I am also physically and mentally disabled living on disability. I suffer from an chronic autoimmune disease that is causing my body to attack my organs. I am also a survivor of domestic violence and childhood abuse. I have been diagnosed Bipolar, PTSD, Schizo-affective, among other things. I came here because after a few years of stability and happiness I started having flashbacks again and not feeling safe.

Treatments

Art Somewhat Helpful

Sometimes helps, sometimes just triggers things worse.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Not Working

I get migraines from the experiences, and it just reinforces them as bad instead of safe or good.

Effexor Not Working

Made me suicidal

Music Somewhat Helpful

Sometimes triggers

Psychotherapy Working / Worked

So far the best thing for me has been my counselor

Reading Somewhat Helpful

I realized I wasn't alone, but it made me remember things I wasn't ready to deal with.

Topamax Not Working

Made me nervous, trembly, loss of appetite

Open Self-Injury

I am 29 year old wife and mother of 3. I am a musician, physically chronically ill, with lots of abuse history. I self harm by hurting myself directly and allowing or causing my naturally occuring illnesses to be worse by not taking care of myself or not taking meds.

Treatments

Group Therapy Somewhat Helpful

I helped others more than getting help myself

Outpatient Treatment Program Not Working

Therapist hated me and ignored me

Psychotherapy Working / Worked

had a terrible therapist, but a great counselor

Open MCTD

I am a musician, wife, and mother of 3. I started getting really sick at 19 and dx'd MCTD at 22. Since then several other secondary diagnosis have been made including Sjogren's, IBD, and Bipolar. I now have nerve damage to the vagus nerve and cannot stand up without falling down unless I'm on the beta-blockers. I have also lost a lot of my vision adn legally blind.

Open Healthy Sex

I was sexually abused as a child, grew up in a very sexually repressed religious family, and taught that women aren't supposed to like it or do it and we should all be virgin mary's. I ended up marrying the man that raped me and having his baby. I finally wised up and left him. Since then I have met and married a wonderful man that I am actually attracted to and we have wonderful healthy sexual relationship that I never thought was possible. I would like to explore this new life more

Treatments

Hormone Replacement Therapy Somewhat Helpful

Really helped my sex drive but made me feel like a permanent PMS trip.

Open Physical & Emotional Abuse

I was physically and emotionally abused by many men in my life. The last straw was my ex husband. I vow never to allow myself to be treated badly again.

Treatments

Abuse Counseling Working / Worked

My local domestic violence program was a real life-saver.. literally. The counselor was the best! She totally changed my life!

Art Working / Worked

All of my creations are therapy, and the more passion, the better the art! I can't see well anymore, but I still write and use photoshop on good days (gotta love magnification!)

Divorce Working / Worked

Best decision I ever made!

Forgiveness Working / Worked

It took many many years, and I still never want to see him again, but at least I don't watch the news hoping he's in jail or killed anymore. He does not consume me anymore, and I just kinda feel sorry for him now and his other victims especially.

Group Therapy Working / Worked

It was good to know I am not alone.

Leave Not Working

I used to park in Kroger parking lot just to get some undisturbed sleep without fear... it just wasn't enough because I always had to go back home eventually. Divorce was the only way. Leaving FOREVER!

Music Working / Worked

Music is what inspired me to leave my abuser, and it got me through the emotions.

Psychotherapy Working / Worked

My counselor changed my life! She actually got me to feel good about myself!

Talking Working / Worked

I know it is hard for my husband to hear, but it brings us closer that he can understand what I've been through and I know I can depend on him. When I start feeling upset about the past, he is there for me.

Open Sexual Abuse

I was abused as a very young child, and again and again later in life. I guess I thought it was normal. I know better now and I am in a healthy relationship.. such a change! I am very grateful.

Treatments

Art Working / Worked

Group Therapy Working / Worked

Music Working / Worked

Talking Working / Worked

\"The Courage To Heal\" Working / Worked

My counselor and I worked through this book, and it made me feel validated and gave me strength to start feeling good about myself.

Open Incest Survivors

I was abused at a very young age by someone close. Later, my son was molested by my ex, his father. I was triggered to remember a lot of my past abuse when my son was also abused at the same age. Hopefully I can work through this some more. It has caused a huge rift in my family.

Open Rape

After my second date-rape I thought it was just me and married my rapist after I got pregnant from the rape. After years of abuse I finally got out and I am very grateful to be free.

Treatments

Psychotherapy Working / Worked

My counselor totally changed my life. I will love her forever and be forever grateful!

Open Migraine Headaches

I started having severe migraines when I was about 16. Most of them were caused from eating ramen soup (MSG). Later, however, I found I could not prevent them at all, even when I avoid msg.

Treatments

Aspirin Somewhat Helpful

Low dose every day helps prevention, but not acute pain.

Avoid Certain Foods / Chemicals Somewhat Helpful

MSG is a huge trigger for me. I get one every time I eat MSG foods or soy/aged cheese.

Axert Somewhat Helpful

Only helped sometimes, but it always comes back,.

Caffeine Not Working

makes me puke

Excedrin Not Working

Imitrex Somewhat Helpful

same as other triptans, only sometimes but headache comes back

Maxalt Somewhat Helpful

same as other triptans

Midrin Not Working

terrible... made me puke and paralyzed

Naproxen Not Working

Topamax Not Working

made me tremble and didn't work

Tylenol Not Working

like taking pez candy

Hydrocodone Working / Worked

Works for acute pain but if I take two days in a row or twice in one day I get rebound and must lay off for a few days

Open Epilepsy & Seizures

I was misdiagnosed as schizophrenic until the ER found a brain cyst touching my hypothalamus and recorded siezures. Now I can recognize auras and take valium to stop it from happening.

Treatments

Avoid Certain Foods / Chemicals Working / Worked

MSG is huge trigger

Depakote Not Working

awful

Keppra Not Working

awful

Neurontin Not Working

made me tremble and couldn't think

Topamax Not Working

made me worse

Trileptal Working / Worked

worked well, not sure why doc took me off

Valium Working / Worked

I take one as soon as I have an aura. It works well for me. I can avoid most siezures as long as I have an aura.

Open Multiple Personalities

It was suggested to me I might have multiple personalities, both by a counselor in a mental hospital and by my own husband. I have frequent memory loss, especially recently with stress.

Open Bisexuality

I was always very sexually repressed. Now with my husband I am beginning to be able to face my own sexuality. I have discussed my attraction to women with him and he is supportive.

Open Marijuana Addiction & Recovery

I have to quit and I'm freakin' mad about it. If it was legal here I would not quit. But I need legitimate pain medication more than medicinal marijuana, so until it gets legalized, I gotta be clean :(

Treatments

Outpatient Treatment Program Not Working

I didnt feel like weed was going to hurt me like meth and alcohol were hurting the others. I was treated bad just because I wasnt on a real drug by the others and treated like a crack addict by the counselors.

Open Arrhythmias

I have an irregular sinus rhythm caused by vagus nerve damage. I am grateful to be diagnosed and on beta-blockers, but the beta-blockers aren't perfect.

Treatments

Diltiazem Working / Worked

worked for a while

Verapamil Somewhat Helpful

only heped the blood pressuer, not the palpitations

Open Interstitial Cystitis (IC)

I started with IC when I was a baby. I cried when I peed, and sometimes there was infection, sometimes not. It got worse when I was 19.

Treatments

Pyridium Working / Worked

I guess this is the same as Uro blue. it works well for me, especially around my period.

Open Antiphospholipid Syndrome

I had a miscarriage and when I saw a maternal fetal specialist they discovered the reason was because I had the Lupus Anticoagulant Antibody. I had to take Lovenox shots and I'm still on aspirin daily. My other pregnancy was high risk, but successful.

Open Eating Disorders
Type: Anorexia

After being malnourished as a child and developing a very distorted body image at a very young age (5), I started being an anorexic by the time I was probably 11. By high school I was full-flegded in crisis, but never received treatment. I thought I recovered on my own, but I realize now it is a life-long struggle since I relapsed twice.

Open Blindness & Visual Impairment
Type: Legally Blind

Started losing vision in the 4th grade. Legally blind at 25. I have genetic abnormalities on the optic nerve, nerve damage, and Sjogren's Syndrome.

Open Lupus

I have several autoimmune diseases, including the Lupus Anticoagulant Antibody. My doctors aren't sure if I have full-blown lupus or not yet, but they think I probably do.

Treatments

Celebrex Somewhat Helpful

Helps my fingers and minor pains, but not my hips or knees.

Prednisone Somewhat Helpful

Helped some, but caused a bad reaction and I cannot take it any longer. It made me full of rage to the point I was violent.

Open Scleroderma

I tested positive for scleroderma in 2001, but other autoimmune diseases have been my troubles until recently. I now have renal sclerosis.

Open HPV

My ex cheated on me and gave me HPV, a strain that only lasts 6 months so I KNOW he gave it to me. I hate the double standard that men are never tested to see if they are carriers, and they spread this disease to us!

Open Infidelity

My ex husband cheated on me, and abused me calling ME the cheater. I never cheated. I found condoms in his wallet, and he stayed out all night every night and gave me an STD. I kicked his sorry ass to the curb!

Treatments

Divorce Working / Worked

Best decision I ever made!

Forgiveness Working / Worked

I still get angry sometimes, and I will NEVER forget, but at least I don't watch the news hoping he's died or been arrested anymore!

Open Child Support & Custody

My ex was abusive to my and my son, and continues to harrass us years later.

Open Short Stature

I'm 4'11" and it doesn't really bother me to be short, I just don't like people thinking I'm 12 when I'm 29!